Learning To Trust Again

But even though she was resigned to her decision, over the next few days Rebecca could not banish the cold and lonely feeling of loss that had taken up residence deep within her. It was not something she had known before and with it came the realisation that when things ended with Mark, what she had felt most was hatred and self loathing rather than loss. She had no one to blame but herself for that situation and once she knew Mark was gone, she can’t in all honesty say she missed him. She missed being part of a couple but she didn’t miss him. However with Jake it was different. She missed everything about him. She missed his smell and his smile and his company. She missed talking to him and laughing. She missed the warmth and the closeness and the feeling of knowing he was there for her. And no matter what she did now, how hard she worked, how much she surrounded herself with other people, nothing filled the void that he had left.

Sitting alone in her apartment of an evening was where Rebecca felt it the most. When there was nothing to take her mind off him, one question circled like an unwelcome chant in her brain, why did he have to lie? Why did he have to lie? Why did he have to lie? On and on it went until she couldn’t take it anymore and either she got angry and threw something or as was more often the case, she gave into the tears that were never far away. Then she would go to bed hugging the scarf that carried his scent and cry herself to sleep.

*****

A week later, Jake’s team were working the late shift. They didn’t finish until midnight but as far as Jake was concerned it was still better than working all night. At least he could go home and go to bed while it was still dark. Not that he had slept much lately no matter what time of day it was. He could tell by the way his colleagues walked on egg shells around him, that he had been unbearable to work with ever since Rebecca had told him it was over. But he couldn’t help it. He had no idea how to fix things. She wouldn’t even talk to him.

It was close to knock off time when a call came through reporting a disturbance outside a night club in the CBD. There was a fight in progress, not an unusual occurrence in that particular street, but there had been a directive issued by the police department that all divisions were to crack-down on it and try and stamp it out. Jake’s squad were the closest car so they took it.

Arriving at the location, Jake and two fellow officers found a group of people surrounding a figure lying on the ground. There was blood spattered on the footpath and the person wasn’t moving. Whatever fight had been happening appeared to have finished and all that was left was the loser. Speaking into his radio Jake asked Mike their contact at base to send an ambulance to their location. Terse and impatient, he barked ‘move back’ to those who couldn’t resist stopping to have a look at someone else’s misfortune. The crowd stepped back.

Having cleared a little space Jake squatted next to the prone figure. The injured man was lying on his stomach with his face turned away from him. ‘Mate, can you hear me?’ Jake said.

There was no response.

He leant over the man to roll him towards him so he could ascertain the extent of his injuries. However as the man’s face, came into full view Jake was horrified. ‘Christ, Todd’ he said and dropped to his knees.