Learning To Trust Again

Leaving Todd’s place, Rebecca drove straight to Jake’s. She needed to talk to him. To clear the air and let him know Todd was okay. Pulling up in front of his place a few minutes later she sat and looked up at the building for a moment, gathering her thoughts. Then taking the keys out of the ignition she took a deep breath and got out of the car. As she knocked on his door, her hands were sweating and her heart was pounding. She hoped he was home almost as much as she didn’t.

Within a few seconds the door swung open. Jake stood on the other side and Rebecca could tell he was surprised to see her. ‘Hi’ he said as he stepped back to let her in. ‘Hi’, she said in a quiet voice and walked past him into the living room.

Moving to stand in front of the windows on the other side of the room, looking out at the scenery beyond, without seeing any of it, Rebecca was aware of Jake’s eyes on her. She sighed and turned to face him. Surprising herself at how calm she sounded, when she felt anything but, she said ‘firstly I think you are owed an explanation about what happened to Todd.’

‘Is he okay?’ Jake interrupted to ask.

‘Yes’ she said, her voice harder than she intended. The unspoken, no thanks to you, hanging in the air between them, and she had to fight to keep her emotions under control.

Jake let his breath out on a sigh ‘I’m glad.’

‘Are you?’ she asked.

Frowning, looking confused and hurt, he said ‘of course.’

Rebecca didn’t know why she’d asked that. Maybe she wanted him to say he didn’t care. Maybe that would have made things easier. But as she looked at his wounded expression she knew that wasn’t the case and after a moment she shook her head and looking away continued with the explanation of why the beating had occurred. ‘Apparently Jemma, the girl he was with at his party….’ Rebecca paused and looking over at him watched as he leant on the back of the couch, his arms crossed, and nodded to indicate he knew who she was talking about before continuing. ‘Well it was her previous boyfriend who beat Todd up’ she said ‘he wasn’t too happy she’d moved on it seems. Anyway, that’s why it happened.’ Pausing again, she took a deep breath.

Jake didn’t speak. She could tell he knew there was more to come and was waiting for it.

 Looking over at him she added ‘as far as we’re concerned, it’s finished.’

‘What?’ he said sounding astounded, his arms dropping down to his sides. He had known he had some work to do but he didn’t think he wouldn’t be given the chance.

Her expression was hard, not showing him how much this was hurting her. She accused with a break in her voice ‘you lied to me.’

‘I know Bec. But I had a reason. I was trying to protect you.’

‘By being dishonest and putting Todd’s life in danger?’ she asked, her tone scathing, ‘I don’t need that sort of protection.’

‘I didn’t mean for that to happen.’

‘But that’s the trouble with not being truthful, there are always consequences, people get hurt whether you want it or not.’

‘I’m sorry’ he said wanting to reach out and pull her into his arms. ‘Bec, please’

A tear made its way down Rebecca’s cheek. ‘Don’t call me that’ she said, her voice breaking. Then hardening her heart she brushing the tear away and shook her head. ‘Apologies don’t mean all that much to me I’m afraid Jake’ she said. ‘It’s just way too easy. If that’s all it takes to fix things, there’s no way to be sure it won’t happen again.

‘You have my word it won’t’ Jake said.