Loss and Longing

The next part of this story cannot be posted here. It'll be available in the usual place.

Learning To Trust Again

Jake didn’t reply, his attention had already shifted away. As the man at base finished speaking Jake had heard the sirens approaching and looking up he watched as the ambulance made its way to his position.

Once Todd was loaded into the back of the ambulance and the doors were closed, Jake watched the vehicle move away from the scene before pulling out his phone and calling Rebecca’s home number.

Dragged out of a deep sleep by the sound of the phone ringing Rebecca looked at the clock and her heart began to race. For someone to be ringing at this time of night it had to be bad news. Wondering if Jake was working her thoughts immediately flew to him, but then she realised with some sadness that there was no reason anyone would ring her about him. Not anymore. She hadn’t returned any of his calls since she told him it was over. She missed him every day but talking to him would only make it worse. She needed a clean break. So that left Todd or her parents. Dreading hearing what the caller had to say, but knowing she had to answer, Rebecca took a deep breath to steady herself. She lifted up the receiver and said ‘hello,’ trepidation already discernible in her voice.

‘Rebecca it’s Jake.’

Hearing his deep voice after she’d just been thinking about him, was more than a shock. It was like a physical blow and for a minute Rebecca couldn’t speak at all. But as it sank in, that he had called her in the middle of the night, both concern and irritation warred within her. Without stopping to think, she blurted out ‘Jake, do you know what time it is? What is it? Are you okay?’ She didn’t want to care, but she couldn’t help it.

‘Yes, I’m sorry. I’m fine’ he said trying to answer all her questions at once before explaining in a quiet voice ‘Rebecca, it’s Todd.’

‘What?’ Rebecca said horrified as fear crept though her body and settled like a heavy weight on her chest. ‘What about Todd?’

‘Rebecca he’s been beaten again, badly this time. My squad were called to the scene of a fight outside a club. When we got there, there was only Todd.’

‘How is he?’ she said trying hard not to panic.

‘He was unconscious when we arrived’ Jake said and not wanting to lie to her again, even to make her feel better. He added ‘he hadn't regained consciousness before he was taken away but his vital signs were good. I’ve just put him in an ambulance headed for your hospital.’

‘Oh my god!’ she exclaimed ‘Do you know what happened?’

‘Not yet but I’m guessing it’s the same guy as last week, too much of a coincidence for this to happen twice in the space of a week and for there not to be a connection. I noticed that Jemma, that girl Todd was with last Saturday is here, so I’d say it’s her ex again but my team is working on finding out. I just wanted to let you know about Todd first’ and his voice becoming harsh he added ‘then I’m going to track this guy down and personally bring him in.’

Quiet for a minute Rebecca couldn’t stop herself from adding ‘be careful Jake.’ Even though she could no longer trust him, could no longer be with him, she couldn’t stand the thought of him being hurt.

 ‘I’ll be fine’ Jake said, ‘but I can’t guarantee he will be.’

 ‘Jake don’t do anything stupid, not on our account’ she said, her voice hard as she fought to distance herself again. She was furious with herself for crossing her carefully set up boundaries. She didn’t want to care about him and she didn’t want to owe him anything either. ‘Thank you for ringing’ she said with a snap in her voice.

‘Are you going to the hospital?’ Jake asked before she could hang up.

‘Of course I’m going to the hospital’ she said more sharply than she intended. Her anger that she couldn’t trust herself, even when she was just talking to him underlined her words. This is what happened with Mark. She’d leave hurt over some betrayal of his and a few days later, when it suited him, he’d come after her and all it would take was a word and she’d forgive him and take him back. Well not this time. She was not going to make the same mistake with Jake. He’d let her down and even if she could forgive it, she could not and would not forget it.

‘Be careful okay? Drive there please’ Jake said.

Not wanting him to care either, she all but yelled ‘I’ll be fine, bye.’

‘Bye Rebecca’ Jake said but she had already severed the connection before he had the words out.

Dejected and confused by her attitude, Jake put away his phone and went to find out what his team had discovered.

Learning To Trust Again

Jake checked Todd’s vital signs and sighed with relief as he found a pulse. He could also see now that the man was breathing.

‘What is it mate?’ Dave one of the other officers asked looking at the shocked expression on Jake’s face ‘do you know him?’

Nodding as he started checking Todd for injuries, Jake said quietly ‘he’s Rebecca’s brother.’

‘Who?’ Dave asked.

 Jake looked up at him and seeing the puzzled look on the other man’s face, he realised Dave didn’t know who Rebecca was. None of his colleagues did. He hadn’t told anyone about her. Not because she wasn’t important, but because as he’d told her once, he wasn’t used to people wanting to know things about him. He didn’t tell other people anything. Jake tried again to explain, ‘it’s.’ But still not knowing how to finish the sentence, he finally just said ‘yes I know him.’

‘Okay’ Dave said with a smile, still sounding and looking confused but patting Jake on the shoulder. ‘What do you want us to do?’

‘Find out what happened can you?’ Jake said without looking at him, his eyes back on Todd.

‘Sure thing’ Dave said and signaling to the third officer, a woman, to follow him, he moved off to question those present.

As he finished checking Todd over Jake swore. The younger man’s upper body was already turning black and blue as new bruises covered the marks of the earlier beating. His face and head were cut and bleeding and the flesh around his eyes and mouth were swelling almost before his eyes, altering Todd’s features until he was barely recognisable.

He didn’t know enough to gauge the extent of the damage to his torso but he suspected he may have some broken ribs. He had red impact marks all over his chest. There was little Jake could do about most of the damage but he pulled out a dressing they always carried and held it over the worst wound on the side of his head, stemming the blood flow that was trickling through his hair. He knew it was probably caused by him hitting the concrete. It looked deep and Jake knew it would probably need stitching. With still no sign of Todd regaining consciousness Jake was worried. With his free hand he said into his radio ‘how long on those bloody ambos Mike?’

‘They said five minutes Jake…should be there any second now.’

Dave had told Mike that this was more to this than just a job to Jake, that there was some sort of personal connection, so choosing his words with care as the other man asked ‘do you want me to call anyone?’

‘No’ Jake yelled, his voice harsher than he intended. He wanted to tell Rebecca himself. Even though she had repeatedly refused to speak to him ever since the morning after Todd’s party, she needed to hear this from him, not a stranger. He owed her that much. Jake took a deep breath and added in a calmer tone ‘I’ll take care of it. Let’s just get him on route to the hospital first.’

‘Okay Jake’ Mike said, I’ll work on finding the guy who did it. There should be CCTV footage. After all the trouble they’ve had down there, everybody has a camera up.’

‘I have a fair idea who did it’ Jake said with a fierce note in his voice. ‘I just don’t know his name. If you can find that out, maybe we can do something about it.’

‘Right Jake’ Mike said ‘I’ll check the footage and see if I can Id. him.’

Going Home

Part 104 cannot be posted here. It will be available in the usual location.

Learning To Trust Again

But even though she was resigned to her decision, over the next few days Rebecca could not banish the cold and lonely feeling of loss that had taken up residence deep within her. It was not something she had known before and with it came the realisation that when things ended with Mark, what she had felt most was hatred and self loathing rather than loss. She had no one to blame but herself for that situation and once she knew Mark was gone, she can’t in all honesty say she missed him. She missed being part of a couple but she didn’t miss him. However with Jake it was different. She missed everything about him. She missed his smell and his smile and his company. She missed talking to him and laughing. She missed the warmth and the closeness and the feeling of knowing he was there for her. And no matter what she did now, how hard she worked, how much she surrounded herself with other people, nothing filled the void that he had left.

Sitting alone in her apartment of an evening was where Rebecca felt it the most. When there was nothing to take her mind off him, one question circled like an unwelcome chant in her brain, why did he have to lie? Why did he have to lie? Why did he have to lie? On and on it went until she couldn’t take it anymore and either she got angry and threw something or as was more often the case, she gave into the tears that were never far away. Then she would go to bed hugging the scarf that carried his scent and cry herself to sleep.

*****

A week later, Jake’s team were working the late shift. They didn’t finish until midnight but as far as Jake was concerned it was still better than working all night. At least he could go home and go to bed while it was still dark. Not that he had slept much lately no matter what time of day it was. He could tell by the way his colleagues walked on egg shells around him, that he had been unbearable to work with ever since Rebecca had told him it was over. But he couldn’t help it. He had no idea how to fix things. She wouldn’t even talk to him.

It was close to knock off time when a call came through reporting a disturbance outside a night club in the CBD. There was a fight in progress, not an unusual occurrence in that particular street, but there had been a directive issued by the police department that all divisions were to crack-down on it and try and stamp it out. Jake’s squad were the closest car so they took it.

Arriving at the location, Jake and two fellow officers found a group of people surrounding a figure lying on the ground. There was blood spattered on the footpath and the person wasn’t moving. Whatever fight had been happening appeared to have finished and all that was left was the loser. Speaking into his radio Jake asked Mike their contact at base to send an ambulance to their location. Terse and impatient, he barked ‘move back’ to those who couldn’t resist stopping to have a look at someone else’s misfortune. The crowd stepped back.

Having cleared a little space Jake squatted next to the prone figure. The injured man was lying on his stomach with his face turned away from him. ‘Mate, can you hear me?’ Jake said.

There was no response.

He leant over the man to roll him towards him so he could ascertain the extent of his injuries. However as the man’s face, came into full view Jake was horrified. ‘Christ, Todd’ he said and dropped to his knees.