Driver

Part 10

However when Taki spoke again it was on a different topic. Her eyes focused on her hands on the table she said “as it seems to be a night of confessions I might as well answer your question now.”

Idyn frowned not understanding what she was referring to.

She looked up and said “why I don’t like being driven.”

“You don’t have to tell me” he said again sensing again that this disclosure would be painful for her.

“It’s fine” she said her gaze dropping away “well it’s not but maybe it’ll help. Who knows?”

She stopped speaking for a minute and Idyn didn’t prompt her. 

"Two years ago” she said without warning. “I was driving home one night. I hadn’t been drinking, I wasn’t speeding, I was alert and still I killed someone.”

Idyn was shocked but he tried not to show it.

“She just came out of nowhere. I didn’t see her until she hit my windscreen” Taki said in a voice full of raw pain as a tear ran down her face.

Idyn reached out and clasped her hand. He wanted to hug her.

“I was cleared of any wrong doing” she continued. “A witness had seen the woman just run out into the road. The victim was a jogger with her ipod playing in her ears at the time. I don’t know why she didn’t see my headlights, but the witness said I had no hope of stopping.”

Taki stopped for a moment she began shaking her head. “Everyone said that the news should have been a relief, but it wasn’t, it only made it worse. I did nothing wrong, but still someone lost their life. If I could cause that, doing everything right, what was possible if I got it wrong? I couldn’t get behind the wheel after that. I couldn’t live with that risk.”

“I can understand that” he said.

She looked at him and the tortured look she gave him broke his heart. “No you really can’t” she said. “And you don’t want to, believe me.”

Idyn didn’t know what to say so he just sat there holding her hand.

“Now I have to be driven everywhere and I hate it. It only highlights the fact that other people can do something that I can’t. For me it’s not a luxury, it’s a bloody handicap.”

Idyn squeezed her hand trying to relay the sympathy he felt through his touch.

“I’m sorry” she said after a moment. “Confessions like that are a real conversation killer aren’t they? It’s one of the reasons I never tell anyone.”

He was touched that she had felt comfortable enough to tell him. “Thank you for telling me” he said. “I’m sorry you have had to go through that sort of trauma.”

Taki looked away and nodded. “I must have been a real bitch in a former life”

He smiled “I doubt that.”

She turned her head to look at him but didn’t speak.