Driver

Part 20

Idyn didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t a councillor. What right did he have to tell her how to feel? He was making it worse for her. Distraught he sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hands through his hair. He had a horrible feeling he had just ruined everything.

It seemed like hours before Taki emerged from the bathroom. When she did her eyes were red signifying that she had been crying. Not knowing what else to do, Idyn had got dressed in that interval. He was sitting on the bed and he stood up as she entered.

“Are you going somewhere?” she said.

“I thought you might need some space?” he said. He did not want to leave her alone like this but if that was what she wanted.

“This is your house” she said.

“It doesn’t matter. Is that what you want?”

 

Taki looked at him for a minute and then let her breath out on sigh. “No” she said.

Idyn moved towards her. When he was close enough to touch her he said “I don’t want to make you feel worse.”

Taki looked up and met his gaze. Tears formed in her eyes and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re not, it’s me” she sobbed.

“It’s okay” he said as he held her. “I shouldn’t have said anything. You were right I don’t know anything about it.”

“No I think you were right” she said “I’m so tired of feeling like crap. It’s just that I don’t know how to do it. How do I forgive myself for killing someone?”

Idyn moved her back to look down at her. “Did you have counselling or something?”

She sighed “yes but it didn’t help.”

“Maybe you weren’t ready to move past it then” he said.

“Maybe” she said. “But if I am ready now how do I do it?”

“I don’t know” he shrugged. “Try counselling again?”

“I can’t go through that again” she said with a sigh and moving to sit on the bed. “It was torture delving into my feelings. I know why I feel the way I feel I just don’t know how to change it.”

 Idyn was struggling to think of something to suggest. This was way beyond his ability and understanding.