Learning To Trust Again

Rebecca was taken aback by Jake's tone but she was also sure he was lying and the thought depressed as much as it angered her. After she finally saw Mark for what he was, and discovered that everything he’d ever told her was a carefully conceived lie. That he crafted everything so he could get exactly what he wanted from her. She promised herself she’d never put up with that sort of betrayal again. And from what she knew of Jake she wouldn’t have believed it of him. She knew he was complex but she could have sworn he was honest. But maybe she couldn’t trust her judgment after all, maybe Todd was right and she couldn’t tell when someone was genuine and when they weren’t. Miserable that that might be the case and angry that Jake was ruining everything by not being honest, she turned to glare out the side window as she tried to hold back the tears blurring her vision.

The rest of the journey was conducted in silence and as they reached her apartment, Rebecca’s voice was flat as she looked down at her hands and said ‘I’m tired tonight Jake. I think I’ll just go to bed.’ She was letting him know he wasn’t invited in. Looking over at him she noticed his black expression but she wasn’t sure whether he wasn’t happy about her decision or was still angry for her trying to find out what was going on. He looked away. ‘Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow’ he said.

Rebecca nodded but didn’t look at him and she didn’t speak again. She just got out of the car and without a backwards glance she walked across the footpath and up the stairs. As she closed the door after letting herself in, Rebecca heard Jake drive away.

Rebecca had had a sleepless night and as a result was not in a particularly good mood when she heard the knock on her door, late the next morning. As the door swung open revealing Jake she just looked at him for a second as she debated whether to talk to him there or invite him in.

 His expression wary, Jake said ‘hey’

‘Hello Jake’ she replied without any discernible warmth. She was surprised to see him and it hurt. She’d spent the night swaying back and forth between aching for him and hating him for lying to her. So to see him at her door was more painful than she could have imagined. The fact that he was here, from her perspective, was as bad as it was good. She wanted him to explain as much as she didn’t. She wanted to know what was going on but she didn’t want to hear him admit that he had lied because she knew it truly would be the end.