Learning To Trust Again

Later after Todd had gone home Rebecca’s mind wandered back to Jake. Despite her assurance to her brother that she knew Jake was genuine, she couldn’t help but wonder. Isn’t that what she had thought about Mark until she found out differently? What if she was wrong again? She frowned and wished her brother hadn’t been there when Jake arrived. She hated the doubt it had caused. If she’d been alone, even if he still hadn’t stayed, things wouldn’t have been so strained and awkward and she wouldn’t be sitting here second guessing herself now. Hating Mark more than ever for continuing to have an effect on her life, she wished she had a better idea about what Jake was thinking.

Even though she’d been able to think of little else but him and that kiss he gave her, she had no idea how he was feeling. The fact that he left without a word afterwards wasn’t a good sign and this visit didn’t really give her any further clues. Except for the fact that he could have simply thrown the scarf away if he didn’t want to see her again. She certainly didn’t believe he took the scarf purposely as Todd had suggested. She remembered hanging it on the chair and must have knocked it off and not noticed when she put her coat back on. It wasn’t a turn of events that was out of the question given her preoccupation at the time with trying to find out more about him.

Maybe he had come back today to explain why he left and was using the scarf as an excuse. Perhaps his interest wasn’t solely about protecting her after all, and as she was considering his motivation, something else occurred to her, something that could have been much more positive. The fact that he was now on night shift could explain his concern about her being finished the late shift. If he was working overnight he couldn’t escort her home anymore. Maybe it wasn’t just a sense of duty that brought him back those further two nights or it wasn’t only that.

Feeling lighter for a second she was then brought down to earth again as she realised that after Todd’s behaviour when he arrived, it was unlikely Jake would be back. She couldn’t imagine him opening himself up to that again, even if returning her scarf was just an excuse. And who could blame him.

Sighing she picked up the scarf and lifted it to her face. She noticed it smelt like him. Maybe he had put it inside his jacket to carry it. Closing her eyes she inhaled his scent for a second before walking into her bedroom and laying the scarf on her bed. She wouldn’t wear it again. She didn’t want to lose that smell. Walking back into the living room she got down to work. As much as she hated it, she wanted to get her housework over and done with so she could enjoy the rest of the day. She had put it off long enough.