Loss and Longing

“Are you involved with anyone?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“Neither am I, so would it be so bad?”

“What do you mean?” she said, unable to get her brain functioning enough to process what he was saying.

He smiled and said “just this” before leaning closer and resting his mouth on hers. It couldn’t really be called a kiss but the contact caused a current of electricity to shoot through Stevie and powerless to stop it, she moved her lips against his. She felt him smile against her mouth and then he placed a hand behind her head and kissed her properly.

Lost in the caress it was a few second before Stevie realised he had moved back. She opened her eyes. His eyes were mere centimetres from her own. As she watched, one corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile, “bad?” he said.

Stevie couldn’t speak but looking down at her mug she shook her head. What they had just shared was as far from bad as it was possible to get but it was also like nothing she had ever known. It frightened her.

“Not for me either” Grant said as he moved his hand along the bench and touched the back of the hand she still had wrapped around the mug with his little finger. Stevie shivered and jerked to her feet. She needed to get out of there before she did something stupid.  “I have to go” she said and picking up her bag she ran out of the room and out of the house. She heard him call out her name but she didn’t stop.

However as she got in her car she thought about what she’d done and cursed herself for being stupid.  She banged both fists down on the steering wheel. Why did she do that? She’d liked kissing him, so why did she run? Frustrated she threw the car into reverse and roared down the driveway. She knew she’d just thrown away something that could have been wonderful before it had even started. Damn it, and as anger blinded her, she had to pull over on the side of the road to give herself time to calm down. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. Then feeling more composed, she pulled back out onto the road and drove home.