Going Home

Part 4

Josh got into the driver’s seat of the car. But he didn’t start the engine, he didn’t know where to go, he just needed to be by himself. Still in a state of shock he leant his arms on the steering wheel as he tried to get his head around what had just happened. Having long since given up expecting to see that name come up as the caller he was unprepared for the feelings it stirred up when it did. But as soon as he saw the name on the phone it took him back to the day over fourteen years ago when he had left home. In that instant he felt the pain of losing his brother and his parent’s subsequent reaction as deeply as if it had just happened. It also brought back to the surface all the guilt he felt about that event.

Leaning his head on the steering wheel Josh considered how before that call he had thought he was finally over it. When he first left home he’d had no one to talk to about it so he’d just found a way to live with it. But with Grace he’d found a peace he had never known before. After the car accident they’d had at work, when he’d told her everything, he’d felt like a weight had been lifted off him and he thought all that pain was behind him. But with one call that he didn’t even answer he was right back where he started.

And suddenly it felt like his world was falling apart.