Loss and Longing

“What about what you need?” Grant asked, frowning.

“I can’t think about that” Stevie said looking away.

“What, never?” he said, sounding incredulous.

“No not never, just not for a while” she said. “How can I just leave them to struggle?”

“I’m not asking you to. Let me help” he said.

“I can’t do that Grant. It wouldn’t be right.”

“As a stranger perhaps” he said, beginning to sound angry “but as your husband, why not?”

“I don’t know. It just wouldn’t feel right.”

“That’s ridiculous” he said.

Stevie was getting angry too now. “Maybe” she said “but it’s how I feel and you need to respect it.”

“I have and I do” he roared. “But where does that leave us?”

“Why can’t we just go on as we were?” she said.

“Because I want more.”

“And I’m just supposed to bow to your wishes, is that it? Regardless of how I feel about it?”

“Don’t be ridiculous” Grant yelled. “I’m just trying to get you to see reason.”

“Right” she said seething now, “in the last two minutes you have called me ridiculous twice and unreasonable. Maybe the real trouble is, I’m just not the person you thought I was.”

“Maybe you’re not” Grant yelled back.

She blanched and getting out of bed she said “then there’s no point continuing this discussion is there?”  She scooped up her clothes and added “I’m going home.”

“Fine” he yelled, getting out of bed too, “I’ll drive you.”

“Don’t bother” she said not wanting any favours from him now. “I can find my own way.”

“No you can’t” he said “for once you’re just going to have to swallow that pride of yours and except my help, because you don’t have any other options. You won’t get a taxi to come all the way out here for such a short trip and there are no buses on Sunday morning.”

Stevie glared at him, then spinning around she walked into the ensuite and slammed the door. Fuming, she threw on her clothes and was out the door again in less than five minutes. The bedroom was empty. She shoved everything back into her bag and walked out to the car. Grant was waiting for her. She didn’t look at him and he didn’t speak.