Loss and Longing

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Stevie had loved curling up next to Grant in the dark that night and had wanted to savour it. But with his arms wrapped around her, making her feel more safe and protected than she had felt since she was a kid, when she used to crawl into her parents bed after a bad dream, she had dropped off to sleep before she knew it. However in the early hours of the morning she started awake. At first she wasn’t sure what had woken her but as she sat up and listened she felt movement coming from the man in the bed next to her. Reaching over she turned on the bedside light and looked at Grant. He was tossing and turning and as she watched for a minute she heard him mutter a name, Leah.  Her chest tightened. She didn’t know who Leah was but the fact that he was dreaming about her, worried her.

Moving onto her knees she reached out and shook him awake. He started and said “what? ” before his eyes opened.

As his lids lifted and he looked at her, she said “you were dreaming.” Then unable to leave it unspoken between them, needing to know for her own peace of mind, with a worried expression she added “about someone named Leah.”

Grant rubbed his hands over his head “damn” he said. Pushing the sheet aside he sat up and lowered his legs over the side of the bed.

Stevie didn’t move and when he didn’t speak she said “please Grant who is Leah?”

Grant rested his elbows on his thighs and lowered his chin onto his hands, but he didn’t speak.

And when Stevie had just about given up on him speaking he did but what he said didn’t make any sense. He said “not is.”

Stevie frowned “sorry?”

“Not is” he said again “was. She was my sister.”

Going Home

Part 118

Not long after his parents left the TR team turned up. Lawson and Dom came in first with Josh’s gear so he could change out of his uniform. Taking charge of Josh’s firearm, as Josh changed, Lawson said “so she’s going to be okay?”

“Yeah the doctor said she’ll be fine.”

Smiling Lawson asked“I guess we’re going to be a man down for a while. Did the doctor say how long she’ll be out of action?”

“No I didn’t get a chance to ask, a couple of weeks I’d say.”

“Well what about you, are you going to be at work tomorrow?”

Nodding Josh said “yeah, but I may be late. I want to be here when the doctor turns up.”

“Fair enough, I’ll let Kerry know.”

Josh nodded “thanks Lawson.”

“No worries” Lawson said then added in a sardonic tone “it’s not like anything I said was going to make any difference anyway.”

Smiling as he acknowledged the truth in that statement Josh turned back to watch Grace.

But Grace continued to sleep through her visitors so Lawson and Dom didn’t hang around long and as soon as they left, Stella and Michael came in. Their stay was even shorter, a thing Josh was immensely grateful for, it had been a long day and he didn’t feel like talking to anyone anymore. He just wanted to sit with Grace and let it sink in that she was going to be okay.

Loss and Longing

The rest of the evening went well and Stevie noticed that Nina went out of her way to make Grant feel at home and by the time they were ready to go, Stevie had forgiven her mother for the shaky start. As she hugged her goodbye, her mother reassured her further as she whispered “I’m an idiot, forgive me. He’s lovely.”

Stevie smiled at her as she moved back, “thank you.”

“See you tomorrow” Nina said and picking up her bag Stevie walked out with Grant.

As they walked down the stairs from the front door Grant said “Come with me. I can drop you back whenever you’re ready.”

Uncertain, Stevie stopped and bit the side of her mouth, “what if someone needs me?” she asked.

“Then I’ll bring you back” Grant said, turning back to look at her with a smile.

 She smiled back at him, “okay” she said and taking the hand he was holding out, she walked to his car.

At his place Grant took her bag and after putting it in his bedroom joined her in the living room. As he lowered himself down beside her he said “do you want to tell me what was going on with you and your mother?”

Stevie winced. “It was nothing really.”

“So no reason not to tell me then” he said with a grin.

She laughed, feeling a little nervous. She didn’t want there to be a problem between him and her family. “She was just a little surprised at your age” Stevie said.

“Right” he said. “Is it an issue for you?”

“No” Stevie said “not at all, seven years isn’t that much and even Mum had changed her tune by the end of the night.”

“I hadn’t actually thought about it” he said looking away.

“There is no reason to think about it” Stevie said worried that she’d upset him, “because it is not an issue, for her or me.”

Grant just looked at her, his expression serious.

Determined to get him to accept that it wasn’t a problem, Stevie moved to sit on his lap, her knees on the couch on either side of his hips. She looked down at him and as she did she saw the corner of his mouth lift and she realised he’d been teasing her. Her eyes narrowed but as his hands settled on her hips, she smiled.  Then lowering her head, she kissed him.

Grant smiled against her mouth and getting to his feet with her wrapped around him, he walked into the bedroom.

Going Home

Part 117

Finally Josh was allowed to see Grace. The nurse had told him she probably won’t be awake but he didn’t care he needed to see for himself that she was okay. He needed to touch her so he could believe it. On reaching the room Josh stopped in the door way. She looked so pale and it took him a minute to get himself under control. Then moving over to the bed he picked up her hand and bending placed a soft kiss on her lips.

Although groggy still Grace would know those lips anywhere and struggling to open her eyes she said in a hoarse voice “Josh”

Smiling for the first time all day as he heard her say his name Josh leant over and watching her eyes close again whispered “I’m here Gracie” then squeezing her hand he added “just sleep okay.”

But Grace frowned and squeezing his hand she said “stay.”

“Don’t worry I’m not going any where. So rest yeah, I’ll be right here.”

Sighing Grace relaxed.

Watching as Grace dropped off to sleep Josh let out his breath on a sigh as relief washed over him. He sat down in the chair next to the bed still holding her hand. True to his word he didn’t move as Grace’s family filed though a couple at a time and then lastly Margaret came in and this time Robert was with her.

Putting his hand on ‘s shoulder Robert asked “you okay son?”

Nodding Josh looked at Grace “yeah I’m good.”

Smiling as he realised Josh meant he was alright now he knew Grace was going to be okay, Robert said “has she been awake?”

Without moving his eyes from Grace’s face Josh said “briefly.”

Recognising no one would be getting Josh out of there in a hurry Robert said “you’re staying right?”

Nodding Josh said “yeah.” Then something occured to him and turning to his mother he said “what about you guys? You’re not driving back tonight are you?”

“No Josh” Margaret said “we’ll probably go back tomorrow or the next day.”

“Well why don’t you stay at our place? It’ll be empty” he said.

Smiling at his thoughtfulness Margaret said “thanks Josh that would be lovely.”

Reaching into his pocket Josh took the house key off his key ring and handed it to his mother. “We’ll get going and let Grace rest. If you need anything just call.”

Josh nodded “thanks for coming.”

Robert smiled “of course Josh, there was no way we wouldn’t come. Anyway we’ll see you tomorrow. Let us know if there is anything we can do.”

Nodding Josh was already turning back to Grace as they left the room and Robert smiled at his single-mindedness where Grace was concerned.

Loss and Longing

“What was that look about?” Stevie whispered to her mother as she poured the drinks.

“How old is he for goodness sake?” Nina whispered back.

“What?” Stevie said, turning to face her, “what’s that got to do with anything?” She had never even thought about the differences in their ages. Not for one second did she consider it would be an issue. It certainly was for her.

 “I just thought he was about your age. It was a shock, that’s all.

Stevie rolled her eyes “I don’t see why, he’s only seven years older than me.”

“Oh” Nina said, clearly surprised “he looks older than that.”

“Even if he was, it wouldn’t matter” Stevie said looking hard at her mother.

Nina looked away, a blush suffusing her face, “no” she said “of course not. I’m sorry.”

“Okay” Stevie said “just make him feel welcome, please.”

“I will” Nina assured her, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it” Stevie said, still feeling and sounding a little upset, and picking up the drinks she walked back into the living room.

And Stevie knew Grant must have sensed the tension when as she handed him his drink he asked “everything okay?”

She smiled, but was sure it looked as forced as it felt, “yes” she said.

“Sure?” he said, frowning.

“Just a misunderstanding. I’ll explain later.”

“Okay” he said and as Stevie’s brother asked Grant if he wanted to play a game on the games console, Stevie relaxed a little. At least her brother seemed to like him. And going by the awe evident in her sister’s eyes, she knew she had nothing to worry about there either.

So that only left her mother and as she watched Grant interact with her siblings she looked at him with new eyes and saw something of what her mother did. For the first time she realised he did look older than his thirty one years. She guessed losing his parents probably had something to do with that. She knew from her own experience how quickly she’d had to grow up when her own father died. Her heart hurt for him and what he’d been through.