Learning To Trust Again

Driving to Todd’s place Rebecca was beside herself, she knew already her brother wouldn’t have gone to the hospital himself and if he had started drinking again, and knowing him, he probably had, he could be lying somewhere in a comma or worse. With that last thought her foot went down harder on the accelerator. She still couldn’t believe Jake didn’t take him to the hospital last night. What the hell was he thinking? He had enough medical knowledge from his police training to know how dangerous head injuries were. As she drove she said to herself, Todd had better be okay or… but not wanting to contemplate either the event or the consequences she didn’t let her mind go any further. She couldn’t even think about Jake at the moment, it hurt too much. Plus she couldn’t afford to be distracted. She needed to concentrate on Todd. His life may depend on her holding it together, so with ruthless determination, she shut Jake out of her thoughts. She would deal with him later.

 Pulling up outside her brother’s unit a few minutes later Rebecca got out and hurried up the path. Stumbling up the last step in her haste, she almost fell against the door. Straightening she raised her hand and pounded on the timber. But there was no response and she couldn’t hear any movement from inside the apartment. Impatient, she hit the door several more times, hurting her hand in the process. She didn’t care but still no one came. Unable to stand still, she started to pace in between hitting the door. She was desperate to see her brother, to know he was okay and after what seemed like an eternity the door finally swung open, but to Rebecca’s dismay it wasn’t Todd standing on the other side. Looking at a bleary eyed, very hung over Cameron, Todd’s best mate from back at home, Rebecca asked ‘Cam is Todd here?’

Yawning as he leant on the door jam, using it to hold himself upright, Cameron said ‘Becs, can you not yell please?’

‘Cameron’ Rebecca said with diminishing patience and without lowering the volume of her voice the slightest bit, ‘is Todd here?’

‘Chill Becs’ Cameron said, putting a hand up to his head, ‘yeah he’s here somewhere or at least he was when I went to bed.’

Feeling a little relief now, Rebecca pushed past him and went in search of her wayward little brother.

Cameron, staggering and struggling to keep on his feet after the shove Rebecca gave him, watched her disappear into the apartment through eyes narrowed to blood shot slits, the strong morning light too much now for his strained retinas. ‘You’re welcome Bec’s’ he called out good naturedly after her as he reached out and put a hand on the wall to help retain his balance. But his raised voice started his head pounding again and he moved his free hand to hold it once more, certain it was about to split in two. Then shutting the front door with as little noise as possible he staggered back to bed.

Going Home

Part 102

After a few minutes of walking in silence Margaret turned to look at Josh “you know I’m so glad you met Grace. I really like her.”

Looking down at his mother Josh nodded “yeah, she’s the best.”

Then looking away she asked “do you worry about her when you’re working? I know your job can be dangerous.”

Frowning Josh turned to look straight ahead again “no.” Then after a pause he added “I can’t. I’d drive myself crazy and never let her out of my sight if I did. Besides I know she’s well trained and she’s good at her job.”

Nodding Margaret said “so does it make it harder or easier working together? I mean would you worry about her more if you weren’t there beside her?”

Thinking about it for a minute Josh said “yeah I think I would, being part of the same team I know, I’m always there if she needs me and if I’m not, someone else on the team is.”

Pausing for a minute, Margaret steeled herself. She wanted to ask a question any mother would ask but because of their estrangement she wasn’t sure she was entitled to. However needing to know more about her son and praying Josh wouldn’t be upset Margaret took a deep breath and plunged in, “so do you two intend to have kids someday?”

Josh turned his head at the unexpected question and looked down at his mother with a frown. He wasn’t upset she asked it’s just he wasn’t used to talking to anyone but Grace about such personal stuff. Normally nobody asked.

Seeing the frown Margaret was worried, but unable to take the question back she held her breath and waited.

After a moment Josh looks away again and said in a quiet voice “yeah someday.”

Watching his profile Margaret smiled. She’d love to have grandchildren and was happy it seemed they’d at least thought about it.

Learning To Trust Again

Rebecca’s head snapped up. ‘Oh my God’ she said as the impact of Jake’s last statement sank in. She knew now why Jake was so worried about Todd being a no show. An unchecked head injury and alcohol consumption could be fatal. Jumping to her feet she said ‘I’ve got to find him.’

‘I don’t know where he lives or I’d have gone there already’ Jake said ‘he said he’d go to the hospital after the party to get his injury checked, but I’m worried he didn’t do that.’

But Rebecca wasn’t listening. Looking around her, she tried to shake off the effects of the shock and get her brain to function so she could work out what she needed to do ‘I’ve got to go’ she said. Then pulling on some shoes, she grabbed her keys and her bag before heading for the door.

Grabbing her hand as she passed him Jake looked at her troubled face ‘I’m sorry Rebecca.’

‘Later Jake’ she said with cool detachment, pulling her hand out of his grip and avoiding his gaze. ‘At the moment I’m only interested in finding Todd.’ She couldn’t believe he had put her brother’s life at risk like this. This is why she couldn’t stand dishonesty, the consequences could be devastating. She just prayed Todd hadn’t paid the price this time.

‘Let me help’ Jake said.

‘No’ she yelled, anger taking hold of her as she span around and pinned him with her irate gaze. ‘You had your chance last night. If you’d told me all this then, I’d have made sure he was taken to hospital.’ Glaring at him, her eyes hard she added with vehemence, ‘if something happens to him, I’ll never forgive you.’ Then without giving him a chance to reply she hurried out, unconcerned that she had left him to lock up her apartment.

‘Damn it’ Jake yelled as he watched her leave and stalking out of her apartment, he slammed the door after him.

Learning To Trust Again

Rebecca still hadn’t decided what to do when Jake sighed and his voice quiet, his eyes guarded, he asked ‘can I come in for a minute. I need to talk to you.’

Rebecca looked at him in silence for a moment longer before stepping back and allowing him to enter.

Keeping his eyes on her as he passed Jake walked into the living room.

Closing the door with a soft click, Rebecca followed him.

 Jake turned around as he reached the middle of the room and facing her, he dove straight in. ‘Okay Rebecca, firstly I apologise for not telling you this yesterday, but I had my reasons.’ He paused but when Rebecca didn’t speak he continued ‘when I went outside for some air last night I found Todd lying in the lane way down the road, he’d been beaten.’

Shocked, her hand moved to cover her mouth, as she listened to Jake. She had not expected this. She thought he was going to say Todd had been objectionable or rude or both and that he didn’t want to tell her because he knew she’d be upset. But this was worse. ‘Who did it?’ she asked when he didn’t continue.

‘No idea. Todd wouldn’t say, but I get the feeling he knows. It didn’t seem like a random event. But all he was interested in was getting back to the party without your parents finding out.’

‘Why?’ she asked, confused as to why he’d want to keep it from his family.

 Jake shrugged ‘he said he didn’t want to worry them. He told me he’d explain today, which was one of the reasons I agreed to keep quiet about it. He also asked me not to tell you.’ Pausing for a minute he added ‘I’m sorry, Rebecca I shouldn’t have agreed to it.’

‘No you shouldn’t’ Rebecca said, her tone a harsh indictment.

‘I thought I was doing the right thing’ Jake said.

Rebecca was silent. She didn’t know what to say. Even though she thought she was prepared for it, hearing him admit he’d lied, no matter what the circumstances, hurt more than she had expected. It felt like she’d been punched in the stomach and it took everything in her to stay standing. Putting a hand out, she steadied herself against the wall.  

But before she could pull herself together enough to say any more, Jake continued. Pushing his hands into his pockets he said ‘I helped him get cleaned up, told him not to drink anymore and made sure he knew I was expecting a call this morning.’

Moving her mind away from their relationship, and focusing on her brother, because that was easier to deal with, Rebecca stepped over to the couch and sat down. She asked ‘he didn’t ring?’ but she already knew the answer.

‘No’ Jake said in a harsh tone, his irritation obvious, ‘and he isn’t answering his phone. I’m concerned he started drinking again.’

Understanding his anger at Todd for not sticking to his part of the agreement, Rebecca however was not all that surprised. Todd could be unreliable at the best of times after a night out when he’d been drinking, but after his own birthday party forget it. She knew he wouldn’t have even surfaced yet and if past experience was anything to go by, he may not open his eyes until tomorrow. Without looking at him she said ‘I’m sure he’ll turn up eventually and when he does I’ll make sure he contacts you. I’m sorry he didn’t keep his word…..’

But shaking his head Jake interrupted ‘Rebecca you don’t understand, he had a head injury.’

Loss and Longing

Stevie sighed and looked away. She hadn’t expected that and she didn’t really want to discuss it, but she couldn’t lie. If they were going to continue to see each other, he needed to know how things stood. There was no point in pretending. After a second she said “because I couldn’t afford it” and despite her best effort, she couldn’t stop the painful blush that suffused her face.

He didn’t say anything and she didn’t dare look at him. She was sure he was horrified but as she’d started now, he may as well know the worst. Taking a deep breath she continued, “since dad died” But her voice broke on the last word and she paused to compose herself.  Clearing her throat, she started again “most of my wage goes to helping Mum make ends meet. Feeding, clothing and housing four people even with both our wages, doesn’t leave much for anything else.”

“That must be hard, but I’d have paid” Grant said.

Stevie shook her head, and still not looking at him, she said, “I can’t do that. If I can’t afford to pay my way, I can’t expect anyone else to pay for me.”

His voice quiet, he said, “is that what you meant the other night, when you said any damage to your car was too much.”

“Yes” she said with a sigh, “If you hadn’t have paid for it, my car would probably never have been fixed.”

“And yet you came to reply the money” he said in the same quiet voice.

“I had to” she said.

“I won’t ask how you found the money but I apologise for putting you in an impossible position.”

Unable to hear any censure or disgust in his voice she finally met his eyes again. “It’s okay” she said, “you weren’t to know.”

He was quiet for a minute. Then he said “I can appreciate your stance on money and I respect it. I don’t want to force you into a situation you’re not comfortable with, but can I make you a deal?”

Wary, she said “what?”

“If I let you cook in my kitchen whenever you like or I cook for you here, if we do that most of the time, will you let me take you out occasionally.”

She gave him a worried look, not sure she could agree to that.

“I can afford it” he said “and while I know that doesn’t help how you feel about it, it would mean a lot to me.”

She didn’t reply. It touched her that he was being so sensitive about her feelings but she didn’t know if she could live with him paying for her.

“I’ll let you wash the dishes when we eat here, even if you cook” he coaxed with a smile.

Unable to resist his teasing, she smiled, “I’ll think about it.”

“Good enough” he said then moving his chair back a bit he said “come here.”