Learning To Trust Again

A week later as they neared the bar where Todd’s party was being held, Rebecca was becoming more and more nervous. Despite her assurance to Jake that her family would accept him, Todd hadn’t been happy when she’d told him a week ago that he was coming and the last time she’d spoken to him he hadn’t shown any sign of softening his attitude. Her parents however, when she’d told them about Jake over the phone seemed to be okay.  While they were more than a little surprised that she was involved with someone after she’d told them she wasn’t interested in being in a relationship for a very long time, they said they were eager to meet him. However, when she’d seen them the night before, when they had arrived in town for the party, she could tell that they were a little worried. And this was before they had even met Jake. She had caught them both watching her on more than one occasion. After her disastrous relationship with Mark, she supposed it was understandable, even more so, once Todd told them about his concerns.

So she couldn’t help but worry that one of them would say something that would ruin things between her and Jake. Their relationship was still so new. She didn’t want her family’s apprehension on her behalf to be a cause of tension between them.

Rebecca knew she had conveyed her nervousness to Jake when, as they walked along the street after parking the car, he asked ‘you okay?’

Her smile, a little strained, as she tried to force herself to relax she replied ‘yes’ then changing her mind she said ‘no’ and frustrated she changed her mind again. ‘Yes, yes I’ll be fine, but just promise me if anyone says anything, you won’t take offence.’

Looking at her with a frown, Jake stopped moving and asked ‘would you rather I didn’t come in?’

Seeing she had him worried now, she tried to explain, ‘no I want you to come. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to think otherwise’ then after a pause, where she tried to find the right words she added ‘it’s just that my family can be a little over protective, that’s all.’

 ‘Of everyone? Or just you?’ he asked.

Surprised Rebecca looked at him and then away again. Despite her not mentioning her past, she could tell from his question he had guessed she had one. She sighed, worrying about what it was she’d done or said that had given her away. But regardless of how it had happened, it seemed pointless now to try and deny it, especially as he was about to face her family. She’d warned them all not to mention Mark but Jake wasn’t stupid, he was certain to pick up on the searching glances he was bound to get. Her voice flat, wondering if this was where he walked away, she admitted ‘just me really.’

But Jake just shrugged. ‘Okay, I’ll keep it in mind.’

Even more surprised, Rebecca looked at him, certain she had misheard. But searching his face, she could see no evidence that he was concerned about any of this. Relieved, she took a deep breath. Not only was she glad he wasn’t put off by it, but also that he didn’t ask her why. Smiling properly she reached up and gave him a quick kiss before leading him into the bar.

Learning To Trust Again

As he lifted his head after a minute, Rebecca wrapped her arms around his neck and smiling at him, she said ‘you’ve never said anything about your family.’

Looking away Jake said ‘that’s because I don’t have any.’

‘What none, nobody?’ Rebecca asked, shocked.

Raising his eyes to look her in the eyes he said ‘no, my parents were killed in a car accident, years ago. I didn’t have any brothers or sisters, so there is just me now.’

‘I’m sorry Jake’ Rebecca said kicking herself for bringing it up.

He shrugged ‘don’t worry about it. I’m used to it.’

But Rebecca still felt guilty. As much as her family drove her crazy at times, she wouldn’t want to be without them, to be completely alone. As she studied him, Rebecca wondered if that accounted for Jake’s lack of verbal communication. Maybe it was because he got used to having no one to talk to. Not that there probably weren’t other people in his life, but perhaps there was no one he confided in.  

Jake however didn’t seem worried, she noticed. Either that or he wanted to end the conversation, because without a word, he leaned forward and kissed her. But unlike a few minutes ago, the kiss this time was heated as he fulfilled his promise from earlier in the day. And before very long it wasn’t enough for either of them. Standing with Rebecca still in his arms, Jake carried her into the bedroom.

Going Home

Part 99

The next morning after breakfast Josh and Robert pulled out the fishing rods and walked around the bank until they found an open spot without too many trees to get the lines tangled in. Robert had noticed that Josh had been quiet since last night and hoped coming to the lake hadn’t upset him. Glancing at his son before turning back to his rod Robert decided to take the bull by the horns and as he cast his line he asked “is everything alright Josh?”

                              

Glancing quickly at his father because the question had surprised him Josh looked away again before answering “yeah everything’s fine, why?”

“You’re quiet that’s all. I was just wondering if all this, being back here and talking about Gavin, was too much.”

Studying the water Josh was silent for a minute as he tried to find the words to explain what he was feeling. He said in a serious tone “no it’s fine. I want to be able to talk about Gavin, but it’s taking me a while to get my head around it. I’ve tried not to remember anything about him for so long that I have to actively work to allow those memories to come now.”

Robert nodded. “Okay son, I can understand that and as long as you’re okay with it, you do what you need to do. Take all the time you need.”

Casting his line into the water Josh said “thanks.”

Learning To Trust Again

Sitting on the balcony later that afternoon Rebecca looked over at Jake. He was eating his second ham and salad sandwich. She’d prepared the first over an hour ago when they’d arrived home. They had been silent for a while. She loved how comfortable they were, that they didn’t need to talk all the time. When she first met him she had thought it was just her he was so reserved with but, as she had got to know him she’d realised, that it’s just the way he was. He talked when necessary but for the rest he preferred to be silent. But as time had gone on, she had learnt that that didn’t mean he wasn’t communicating. She had become skilled at reading the other means of communication he used, like his eyes which were very expressive and his hands, he touched her a lot. She liked that and it often said more than he could with any amount of words. Watching him for a minute, she said ‘hey?’

Lifting his eyes for a second before lowering them back to his plate as he picked up the remains of the salad with his fork, he replied ‘yeah?’

‘Are you doing anything Saturday night?’ she asked.

He lifted his eyes again and held her gaze. Sounding a little guarded he said ‘not really, why?’

‘I was wondering if you’d come to my brothers 21^st  birthday party? I’d like my family to meet you.’ 

Jake just looked at her.

And when he didn’t immediately reply Rebecca began to panic. She wondered if it was too early for such a big step. If maybe she was pushing too hard and looking away she blurted out ‘you don’t have to though. It’s up to you.’

‘This is Todd?’ Jake asked at length, his expression unreadable.

Looking at him again Rebecca nodded. ‘Yes Todd, he’s my only brother, my only sibling actually.’

‘You sure he’s going to be happy about me being there?’ Jake asked.

Rebecca knew exactly what had prompted the question and she couldn’t blame him for wondering, given Todd obvious hostility when they met at her door. She smiled. ‘I’m sure he’ll be fine.’ She just couldn’t believe her family, including Todd, wouldn’t be able to see what she saw in Jake once they got to know him.

‘I don’t want to cause trouble between you and your family Bec’ Jake said, his tone serious.

‘You wouldn’t be’ she said.But seeing the doubt in his eyes she added ‘the best way to prevent that is for them to get to know you, Todd just got the wrong idea about you and it caused his protective streak to act up. He’ll come around. Plus my parents aren’t in town very often. So it may be sometime before there is another opportunity for them to meet you.’

Looking at her for a minute longer Jake finally shrugged ‘okay, if you’re sure’

‘I’m positive’ she said and smiling she pushed her plate away and stood. Moving over to stand next to him, as he looked up, she leaned down and kissed him. Raising her head a few seconds later she said ‘thank you.’

Moving his chair back from the table, Jake pulled her onto his lap and his eyes on her mouth he said ‘no worries’ before lowering his head and bringing his mouth down on hers.

Learning To Trust Again

On the following Sunday morning Rebecca took Jake kayaking. She had only recently joined a club that met on the river not far from where she lived. It was watching the other members paddle past her place that had first sparked her interest in the sport. She couldn’t believe how lovely and peaceful it looked to be able to move across the water, barely making a sound. And after her first outing she was hooked. Now she couldn’t wait for the weekends so she could go again.

Borrowing two kayaks, as she didn’t yet own one herself, the two of them set out for a short trip east along the river. As always, Rebecca felt her worries melting away as she moved out on to the water. She found it relaxing, quietly paddling along, while the city hummed all around her. It was like being in the eye of a storm and having Jake by her side this time only enhanced her feeling of peace. She looked over at him as they began to move along and as he winked at her, she smiled.

Jake had said he’d done some rowing before but not for a long time. However being fit and athletic he picked it up easily and Rebecca knew if he wanted to, he could outstrip her in pace with very little effort on his part. He didn’t though. Instead he chose to paddle next to her and she liked that he didn’t feel the need to show his dominance. She didn’t feel the need to go any faster than what she felt comfortable with. Mark had had to beat her at everything. If they were running, which he only insisted they do because he knew she hated it and because he could easily out distance her. He would never match his pace to suit her, instead he would just take off leaving her to lag behind and then pick on her for taking so long once she finally managed to reach their destination.  

However Rebecca enjoyed kayaking with Jake. At one point she challenged him to a light hearted race to the nearest bridge, which she won. Breathing hard as she reached the bridge, with Jake a stroke behind her, Rebecca smiled and trying to catch her breath said ‘you didn’t have to do that.’

‘Do what? Jake said with a grin.

‘Let me win’ Rebecca said.

‘No way, it was all I could do to keep in touch with you’

‘Yeah right’ Rebecca said with a smile, her disbelief was obvious. She was touched and as they returned the kayaks to the club house she hoped they’d do it together again soon.

Walking out of the club Jake said ‘thanks, I really enjoyed that.’

‘Same here’ Rebecca replied ‘I love being out on the water.’ Then needing to say something about the consideration he had showed she said ‘thank you for staying with me, I’m sure you wanted to go faster.’

Shrugging Jake denied any hardship, ‘I wanted to go kayaking with you. It didn’t matter to me how fast we went.’

Rebecca put her hand out to stop him and reaching up she kissed him. Easing back after a minute she said ‘thank you.’

‘No worries’ Jake said with a smile. Then hungry after an hour on the river, he asked ‘you want to get some lunch?’

‘Jake it’s barely eleven o’clock.’

Jake shrugged and grinned ‘so, I’m hungry.’

She smiled and shook her head ‘okay come back to my place. I’ll make you something there.’

‘Sounds good’ Jake said and pulling her against him kissed her with such heat Rebecca’s legs threatened to give out when he lifted his head.

‘What was that for?’ she asked with a smile.

‘Later’ he said with a wink as he pulled her against his side and headed them in the direction of her apartment.

Rebecca smiled to herself.