Idolatry

Trying to find some evidence to back up the beliefs that had sent her out of town for a week Win said “if you weren’t attracted to her why did you need me to act as a buffer? Surely you’re capable of telling her no?”

Cole sighed. “You’re right I didn’t need you to help reject her.”

“So you were attracted to her?” she said.

“No” he said “I wanted to have dinner with you. She was just an excuse.”

Win’s eyes widened. “What?” she said.

“You weren’t the excuse” he said “she was.”

“No” she pleaded horrified.

“Yes” he said. “I had been wanting to take you out for almost two years. I didn’t know how you felt however and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by asking and may be lose you as an employee. When Merril insisted on dinner I’m afraid all I could think about was how I could use the situation to get what I wanted, you.”

“Oh my god” she said closing her eyes and moving away as it hit home the conclusions she had jumped to.

She had her back to him now and as his hands came down on her shoulders she began to cry.

“Why did you believe her?” he said in a hurt tone.

“Because she’s beautiful and so much better suited to you” she sobbed.

Cole turned her around “but I don’t love her Winter, I love you.’

Win was crying in earnest now, great racking sobs shook her. Cole wrapped his arms around her. “I didn’t know where you’d gone” he said into her hair, his large hand cupping the back of her head. “I was frantic.”

“I’m sorry” she said her arms holding him tight. “I love you too.”

Cole released his breath on a sigh. “Can you say that again?” he said.

“I love you Cole, so much.”

“I love you so much too” he said lifting her tear stained face and looking down at her with a crooked smile before kissing her.

Idolatry

Letting herself in Win looked around the apartment with dismay. It still hurt to see it, to remember time spent there with Cole. Holding back tears she began unpacking the car. It was as she pushed the second bag in through the front door that Win became aware that she was no long alone. Her head snapped around and seeing Cole standing behind her, her heart skipped a beat.

“Are you ready to talk now?” he said in an angry tone, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes boring into hers.

“Is there any point?” she said turning away from him, intent on closing the door before he could enter.

He was a step ahead of her however and brushing past her, he walked into her apartment. With a sigh Win closed the door and followed him into the living room.

“What was that crap you left on my desk all about?” he said.

“I thought it was pretty straightforward” she said in sharp tone beginning to feel angry herself now. How dare he stand there and yell at her when he was the one in the wrong. “I left your messages and my letter of resignation.”

“I know what it was Win, what I want to know is what you think happened to warrant it.”

“Do we have go into minute details?” she snapped.

“There are no details, because nothing happened between Merril and me except some business which I assume is what you’re implying.”

“Is that what you call it?” she snapped “business, conducted in the privacy of her apartment.”

“I never went near her apartment” he growled.

“That’s not what she said” Win said, her confidence was waning a little at his adamant denial but trying not to show it.

“I don’t give a shit what she said” he all but yelled “she lied. Who are you going to believe me or her? You know what she’s like.”

Win searched his eyes for a moment.  Had she got it all wrong and misjudged him?

Idolatry

At her apartment Win rushed to pack a couple of bags. The only delay was the tears that kept forming as memories of the two of them there hit her. Over and over again she would have to stop until she was able to see again.

Still, within fifteen minutes she was done and putting the luggage in the car Win set off on the hour long drive to the beach.

With each mile she could feel the tension dropping away and as the water came into view Win opened the windows and breathed in the cleansing sea air. Her only hope was that one day the pain she felt would be gone too.

For the next seven days Win walked along the beach, she watched movies, she read when she could focus and slept when her mind would let her. She didn’t see anyone she knew and she didn’t talk to anyone. Cole rang over and over again but she never answered or returned the calls and after a while she turned off her phone. The locksmith had called on the Monday and told her the locks were changed and the keys were at their office when she was ready to pick them up.

Win used the time to check the job ads online. She found a few to apply for but she felt no enthusiasm for any of the positions and she had had no replies by the time she left on the following friday afternoon. She had a little time though. Win had saved hard in the last couple of years, she could live off her savings if she had to. Not to mention she was due eight week holiday pay from Cole. Not wanting to be away from him even before they started seeing each other she hadn’t taken time off in the whole time she’d worked for him. Now she would be away from him forever.

Careful to return before the close of business on Friday afternoon so she could pick up her new keys Win drove to the locksmith and then made her way home.

Idolatry

Win knew what she had to do and with a heavy heart she hurried to pack up her desk for the last time. She wanted to be gone before Cole returned. The last thing she needed was to have it out with him. The way things stood, no amount of words was going to change anything. She was thankful that for once she had driven her car to work. Since they had started going out, normally Cole would drive them, but he had had an early meeting out of the office so Win had driven herself to work. She couldn’t help but wonder if that meeting had been with Merril too. At least now he wouldn’t have to sneak around. 

 On his desk Win left a note telling Cole that he was required at Merril’s apartment that night and that she said he knew where it was. It was a dig that she couldn’t help making and one that told him that she knew about them. She also left her letter of resignation and walked out of the office.

In her car Win had to work out what she was going to do. She couldn’t stay at her place for the moment, Cole had a key and he would no doubt turn up at some stage to justify his actions and tell her why he was better off with Merril. But she did not want to hear his reasons. It was over and she never wanted to see him again. It hurt enough as it is without having to see him. However the only alternative to going home was a hotel, which would be expensive and she needed to conserve her savings now she was out of work. Other than that it was her parent’s or a friends place. But she didn’t want to be around people. The thought of having to answer a lot of questions made her feel sick. Starting the car she headed home to pack a bag still no knowing where she was going.

 It was as she drove that an idea came to Win, she would go to her parent’s beach house. Cole had never been there, he didn’t know it existed and it sat empty most of the time. She had a key and they had told her she could use it whenever she wanted.  While she was away she would have the locks changed on her apartment. By the time she came back he would have given up trying to explain and she could get on with her life without him.

Idolatry

For the next few weeks Win was happy. She loved Cole more every day.

But then without warning, it all fell apart and like the beginning of their relationship, the cause was Merril. Win hadn’t seen Merril since the dinner they had shared on the night she had first started seeing Cole. Now in the last week the other woman had been into the office every day. Each time Win was polite and respectful but Merril ignored her and walked into Cole’s office like she owned the place. Her attitude irritated Win but to her dismay Cole didn’t seem to mind and as he did nothing to stop it, she couldn’t do anything either. 

It was an hour before closing when Merril arrived that Friday. Cole was out seeing another client but he was due back in half an hour. He had been out of the office often that week and Win didn’t always know where he was. He had also had a couple of evening meetings but she didn’t think much about it until Merril said something that brought it all together. 

When Merril walked in she went to move past Win but this time Win had to stop her. She couldn’t let the other woman go into Cole’s office alone. “Merril Cole’s not here” she said. “You’ll need to wait out here.”

“Really?” Merril said turning to look at her and speaking to her for the first time.

“Yes” Win said keeping her tone even but firm.

“Okay” the other woman said “I have a better idea. Tell Cole he can come by my apartment tonight instead. He knows where it is, he’s been there often enough” she finished and after giving Win a smirk, she walked out.

Once Merril had left, Win dropped down into her chair. She felt shattered. Of course Cole knew where her apartment was, that’s where he had been all week. It all made sense now she realised with a searing pain piercing her heart. Merril was much more his type that she was. Win no longer felt like she was inferior to him but deep down she knew it was only a matter of time before he moved on to some one more suitable, she just never thought it would be with Merril. Cole had tried so hard to rebuff her. But as that thought occurred to her something hit her. If he wasn’t tempted by Merril, would he have needed a third party to hold her off? He was a mature, intelligent man, he shouldn’t need help to repulse any advance unless of course he was fighting himself rather than her. Oh god, Win thought as a tear escaped her eye and ran down her face. 

This was her own fault however she realised. Win couldn’t really be angry with Cole. She had let herself get involved with him when she knew their relationship made no sense. Even if he wasn’t the god she had made him into, he was so far out of her league the whole thing was ridiculous. And to make matters worse she had put her job on the line in the process. Her whole life was a mess now because she had given into emotions she didn’t have a right to feel.