Friday, 8 November 2013

Loss and Longing



“Right well as you know my family is gone, I have no one I need to look after. So instead of leaving what came to me from them languishing in a bank, not doing anyone any good, I decided to put it to good use. What I’ve done is set up trust funds for everyone in your family.”

Stevie’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak but he held up a hand “hang on, I’m not done.”
“As things stand, your brother and sister are sorted out financially, their education is paid for and they’ll have an independent income once they reach eighteen. As for your mother, she need only work now when she wants to, the house will be paid for and she’ll have an income from what is left. So that leaves you, now while I’d prefer to marry you and look after you that way I’m pretty sure you’re not willing to do that so I’ve set up a trust fund for you too.”

“I won’t touch it” Stevie said, her eyes flashing. She was furious he’d gone behind her back and done this.
“That’s your right” Grant said not appearing to be the least bit offended by her lack of gratitude or surprised by her attitude. “But it’s not going anywhere, so it will just sit there until you’re ready.”

“I’ll never be ready. How could you do that, knowing how I’d feel about it?” she asked, angry tears burning her eyes. She felt betrayed.

“I love you” Grant said “and I want you to be happy. I knew helping you wasn’t going to be enough. You’d always feel responsible for your family, you’d always put their needs before your own. So this was the only way I could think of to give you a life of your own.”

“So with one swipe of your pen, you make me redundant, not needed by anyone” Stevie said getting to her feet and beginning to pace “Thanks very much Grant. Great life you gave me.”

“No” Grant said standing and taking a step towards her. “I wanted to set you free.” And his voice soft and deep, he added “you are very needed, by me.”

Stevie closed her eyes. When he spoke to her in that voice, he was hard to resist.

“Stevie I didn’t do it to punish you or hurt you or even to pressure you into taking me back” he said. “I’m aware I blew my chances. I did it so you could be happy and now you can be, even if it’s not with me.”

Stevie opened her eyes and looked at him. “So you’re doing this knowing it’s not going to change anything between us?”

“Yes” he said. “I couldn’t help my family, but I can help you and yours. There are no strings, I promise you. I want you to go out and find someone who makes you happy and I want you to be free to pursue that when it happens.”

Thursday, 7 November 2013

Loss and Longing



Stevie turned to leave. It hurt too much just to look at him.
“Please don’t go” he said as her hand made contact with the door handle. “I didn’t think you’d come if I asked you to meet me. I just want to talk. I didn’t know where else we could meet and talk in private.”
Stevie didn’t move.
“Please” he said again “I have something I need to tell you. It won’t take long.”
She turned around and looked at him. She knew her pain was visible in her eyes, she couldn’t hide it.
“Do you want to sit down?” he asked indicating two chairs on either side of a low table in the window. The setting reminded Stevie of their night out at the bar. She pushed the memory away and taking a deep breath, she moved past him and sat down on a single chair in front of a desk instead.
He walked over and pulling another chair over, he sat on the edge of it facing her. He rested his elbows on his thighs and linked his hands. “How are you?” he said.
She didn’t reply. She just glanced at him and then away. He looked tired she noticed.
He sighed and tried again. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get in contact but I wanted to get a few things in place before we spoke again.”
“What things?” she asked as she turned back to look at him. Her tone was wary. She didn’t like the sound of that.
“Things I know you’re not going to be happy about” he admitted.
“Then why did you do them?” she couldn’t help but ask.
“Because I had to” he said.
“What?”
“I’ll get to that” Grant said “first of all I want to apologise for the things I said that morning. I didn’t mean them. I admire the way you stand by your principles, I really do, but it’s not every day you have a proposal thrown back at you. In fact it was the first time I’d made one, so I was reeling a bit.”
Stevie just looked at him.
He sighed again. “Okay to what I have to tell you, I want you to listen to me all the way through before you speak okay?”
She nodded.
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