Loss and Longing

Being Saturday it was after midnight, before Stevie got up and got dressed to go home. Grant pulled her into his arms at the front door and said “I’m starting to hate these good byes, and before you start apologising again, I’d hate them no matter when they happened, at night or in the morning.”

She smiled. “I don’t like them much either” she admitted.

He walked her out to her car, “night.”

“Night” she said and after one last kiss, she got in her car and drove home.

Over the next few weeks Stevie and Grant spent most of their evenings together at his place. They went out occasionally but they both preferred being alone together. Stevie was glad he never pushed her to go out and spend money she didn’t have. Nor did he try to spend his money on her. Instead they spent their time in activities that didn’t require any expense. They talked and played cards. They watched movies and Stevie cooked him all her favourite dishes. Grant introduced her to his horses and they went riding. They walked Scout and relaxed in front of the fire. Stevie was happy and her life no longer seemed so hard, even though nothing at home had changed. Holding things together money wise, was still difficult but knowing she had Grant there, seemed to relieve some of the pressure she’d been living with since her father died. The only thing that gave Stevie any cause for concern was what Grant held back from her. She didn’t want to push him to talk but the knowledge that there was a significant part of him he couldn’t share, worried her at times.

Her mother had apparently noticed the change in her too. For one night when Stevie was home for dinner, as the two of them sat drinking a cup of coffee at the table after finishing their meal, her siblings elsewhere, Nina said “isn’t it time we met this man of yours?”

Stevie looked at her and teasing her a little she asked with a smile, “why?”

“Because he makes you happy and anyone who can do that is someone I want to know.”

Stevie didn’t deny it.  Her smile widened and she said, “I’ll ask him later.”

“You’re going around there tonight?” Her mother asked.

Stevie nodded, “after I pick up Catherine.

“I can do that” Nina said “you can go earlier then.”

“It’s fine mum. He’s not expecting me until later so don’t worry. You’ve been working all day, you deserve a rest.”

“So have you” her mother said.

“Yes, but I’m going out anyway so it makes no difference.” And with a smile she got up and started stacking the dishes to wash.

“Don’t even think about it” Nina said “Dean’s going to wash them when he gets out of the shower.”

Rinsing her plate and putting it with the others next to the sink on the bench, Stevie said okay. “I’ll just iron what I need for tomorrow and then I’ll go and get Caty.”

“You could always just take what you need and stay at his place” he mother said with a raised eyebrow.

Shocked, Stevie just looked at her mother. She’d never expected to hear that from her. But then in the last couple of years their relationship had changed. They no longer had a typical mother/daughter relationship. Sharing the responsibilities for the household like they did, they were more on a par.

“We’d get by, you know” Nina said with a smile.

“I have no doubt” Stevie said, laughing, after she’d recovered from the shock. She was able to tell from the glint in her eye, that that had been her mother’s intention. Happy to join in the teasing, she added, “and if I’m ever considering it, I’ll bear that in mind.”

“You do that” her mother said grinning before turning away and walking into the kitchen.

 But this surprised Stevie further still. She’d expected her mother to back off after her comment but instead her response indicated that despite the levity, she was serious.

Astounded Stevie shook her head and moved off. She was thoughtful as she walked into her room to get her clothes ready for the next day. Her mother’s words had got her thinking. Maybe she could spend the night at Grant’s place one night. She’d have to plan it for a day where she didn’t have to take her siblings anywhere the next morning but it was possible.