Learning To Trust Again

The journey to Rebecca’s was as usual conducted in silence. Jake wanted to touch her but he didn’t want to risk scaring her off, not now. He kept his hands in his pockets as they walked so he won’t be tempted. When they walked past the pub he was reminded of the night they had first met. It seemed like years ago. He looked over at Rebecca wondering if she was thinking the same thing. But her expression told him nothing. He turned back to face forward.

For once Rebecca had been happy not to talk as they walked. She didn’t want to get into what they had to discuss until they could do it without distractions. Letting them into her apartment she dropped her bag on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch. All of a sudden she felt very weary. She still hadn’t caught up on the sleep she’d lost in the last few days. After speaking to Jake last night, she had once again had a disturbed night.

Sitting down next to her but not touching her Jake said ‘do you want to start?’

Nodding she said ‘I think I need to explain something, but it’s difficult for me to talk about.’

Reaching out, Jake picked up her hand. He rubbed his thumb over the back of hand ‘take your time’ he said.

Looking away from him, but appreciating the contact, Rebecca didn’t pull her hand away. She swallowed hard and began. ‘Before I moved here I was in a relationship with a guy named Mark. I met him when I was nineteen. He was twenty five and we were together for about five years.’ Her voice was barely more than a whisper as she continued, fighting to get the words out ‘it wasn’t a healthy relationship, at least it wasn’t for me, not that I saw that at the time. For him it was probably as good as it got. Although I didn’t know it until the end, he had lied to me about everything. From the first moment we met until I finally saw him for what he was, it was all a lie. He stole from me and used me and as naïve as I was, I believed everything he said without question. I wouldn’t listen to anyone when they tried to tell me what he was like. I was in love with him and absolutely blind to everything he was doing. It took him wiping out my bank account, selling my car without my knowledge and when I went to ask him about it, finding him in bed with someone else, for it to finally hit home.’

Silent for a minute, tears started to run down her face. Her voice was broken and raw as she added, ‘he laughed at me. When I went to his place to confront him, and found him in bed with a woman who had pretended to be my friend, he laughed. He told me he had never loved me and that I was the easiest person to play he’d ever come across. He said he couldn’t believe how simple it was to get me to forgive him, no matter what he did and the only reason he wasn’t going to bother this time was because I had nothing left for him to take. I was stupid.’