Learning To Trust Again

Hearing the knock on her door at two minutes past five the next evening, Rebecca raced to answer it. She had been ready for about five minutes and it had been the longest five minutes of her life. She’d rushed around after getting home, having a quick shower and changing into jeans and a blue fitted cotton top. She was drawn by instinct to buy clothes in shades of blue but didn’t realise how in wearing them they enhanced the blue of her eyes. She didn’t bother with shoes, she rarely did when she was home. Padding into the kitchen she turned the oven on and put the lasagna in. It would take at least thirty minutes to heat. Then she did a last minute tidy up before preparing the salad. She had been so worried all the while she wouldn’t be done on time, only to find she was finished with her preparations early and was forced to watch the minutes tick by on the clock. As she did, she had lamented the fact that time moved so slowly when you were waiting for something. In fact for a while there, she was sure it had actually stood still. But finally he had arrived. At least she hoped it was him. Reaching the entry she paused to take a deep, steadying breath to calm her nerves. Her heart seemed to be beating in a very overexcited fashion. Wiping her clammy hands on her jean clad thighs, she opened the door with high hopes and a bright smile.

However seeing the brooding expression Jake wore, her smile slipped a bit. As usual he’d surprised her. She should have been used to the up and downs by now, but she hadn’t expected him to appear at her door looking angry and she didn’t know what to make of it. Had she made a mistake asking him? Maybe he didn’t want to be there. But then why agree to it? It wasn’t like she had forced him. In the end it was he who had made the suggestion that they eat early. She just couldn’t work him out. As much as he intrigued her, she had to acknowledge the fact that she didn’t really know him. She could never predict what mood he was going to be in and they seemed to change so rapidly she wondered if she ever would, even if she had had years to try. Thinking back to what Ian had said yesterday she wondered if maybe she shouldn’t have pushed it. But short of closing the door in his face, she had no choice now but to go through with it. So forcing her smile wider and hoping his demeanour would change for the better at some point, she said in as bright a voice as she could manage ‘hi Jake, please come in.’

After a pause where he studied her in silence Rebecca was pleased to see his expression change. He didn’t smile but he lost that hard angry look. He said ‘thanks Rebecca’ and stepped through the door. She could feel him watching her as she led the way into the living room and it unnerved her a bit. Needing some distance to get herself together, Rebecca gestured with her arm, around the room, incorporating the open doors leading out onto the balcony where she’d set up a table for dinner. She said ‘make yourself at home and I’ll get us a drink. I’m guessing you can’t drink alcohol as you are on duty later so how about a soft drink?’

‘Something cold sounds good,’ Jake said as he shrugged out of his jacket and laid it over the back of a chair.  

‘Okay I won’t be a sec.’

‘No worries, take your time’ he said as she moved into the kitchen and left him to look around.

Alone in the kitchen Rebecca leaned on the bench and tried to gather her racing thoughts. Whilst now his mood seemed to have changed she was glad he was here, she still had to wonder about why he had looked so angry when she opened the door. Every time she saw him she seemed to end up with more questions than answers. She sighed. Ian was right. He was a hard person to get to know. But taking a deep breath, knowing it was rude to leave him on his own for long, she got herself moving. Pulling out some glasses she poured them both a drink and walked out to find him.