Learning To Trust Again

As they walked Rebecca could feel his eyes on her more than once and she too was taking stock. Glancing over at him, careful to avoid his gaze, she mentally blended the reality of Jake with what she had remembered from the night before. She’d got his build right. He looked very toned and fit and well able to handle himself, but she had underestimated his looks. She had memorised the gorgeous green of his eyes correctly but she had found that the rest of his features were more difficult to remember when she tried to recall them that morning. Given her traumatic experience the night before, it was probably not that surprising. But after seeing him for a second time, without the drama clouding her thought processes, she knew she wouldn’t be forgetting again. He was amazingly looking with close cropped dark hair and strong, chiseled features that the jagged scar she hadn’t even noticed the night before, did nothing to detract from. The scar ran across his left temple from the corner of his eye brow to his hair line and looked to be a few years old. In fact far from marring his features, for her, if anything, it only added to his allure. It made it clear to her that he had suffered and she understood all about suffering. She had done plenty of that, even though there were no physical scars to show for it in her case. Shutting off those thoughts, not wanting to think about that black time in her life Rebecca continued to make further subtle glances in his direction, completing her inspection, wanting to memorise every detail for future reference.

They had been walking in silence for a few minutes before Jake surprised her by returning to the touchy subject that had sparked the argument earlier. He asked in an even tone ‘why are you walking again?’

Rebecca glanced at him and then away again. This time she didn’t detect any anger or accusation in his voice, just a desire to understand. She shrugged ‘I told you, it wasn’t worth getting the car out.’

Jake was silent for a minute. He then said, ‘I don’t believe you’re that stupid.’

She looked at him again and saw his serious expression. She knew he wasn’t trying to insult her, he’d guessed there was more to it. She sighed and looking away admitted with reluctance, ‘I live alone and have to travel this route to work every day. I didn’t want what happened to have the power to stop me moving about freely. I didn’t want to be scared all the time. I thought if I put it off, I might never be able to do it. You know the old saying, if you fall off a horse get straight back on.’

‘There’s a bit of a difference in this case, you didn’t fall, you were pushed.’

Rebecca shrugged ‘the fear’s the same.’

Quiet, Jake studied her for a moment as she turned to look at him again. Finally he moved his gaze away and nodded. ‘Fair enough. I guess I can understand that. I’m not saying I agree with you that it is worth the risk but I get that you need to be able to feel safe.’

‘Thank you’ she said. She was pleased he understood.