Going Home

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Part 81

Later lying on the couch with Grace in his arms, Josh looked down at her and with a stern expression he accused “that was your fault you know?”

Looking up at him Grace is contrite and agreed, “I know Josh and I’m sorry. I just thought a lot was assumed between us but not said and it would be better for both of us to have things spelt out.” Then smiling she continued “Not that I’m complaining about the outcome.”

Feeling more at ease Josh gave her a smile and pushing some hair behind her ear he said “no, well as good as that was I could do with out the lead up thanks.”

Understanding she’d seriously worried him Grace nodded “okay.” Then changing the subject she added “now about your parents if they are going to be here over the weekend what are we going to do?”

Josh frowned “I don’t know. Any ideas?”

“Well we could have lunch down along the river and then we could go for a walk.”

Running his finger along her jaw Josh said “I guess that sounds okay, then what?”

“I have no idea.” Grace said with s shrug. “Maybe there’s something they’d like to see or do. I guess we’ll have to work the rest out as we go.”

“Fair enough” Josh said, his voice a little absent now as he kissed her ear. His eyes closed.

Assuming he’s tired Grace smiled and got up off the couch. Putting out her hand to Josh she said “come on bed time.”

 “Sounds good to me”

Pulling him to his feet Grace turned towards the bedroom and smiled as she felt Josh’s arms wrap themselves around her from behind. As she moved forward pulling Josh along with her he started to kiss her neck. “I thought you were tired” Grace said.

“Nah just ready for bed” Josh said smiling against her skin.

Shaking her head, Grace smiled.

Loss and Longing

*****

Grant hadn’t known what to do when he’d seen her tears. She cried like her heart was breaking and it touched him. In that moment she’d reminded him of someone, stirred a memory that caused his chest to hurt.  Needing the connection to another person as much as he wanted to comfort her, he’d unwrapped the hand closest to him from where it still clung to the steering wheel, and held it.

*****

Stevie knew he must be thinking she was ridiculous, she felt ridiculous, but she could see nothing but concern in his expression. She flicked her eyes away. “Sorry” she said disengaging her hand.

“No problem” he said “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Oh I’m okay” Stevie said, her voice harsh now “but I don’t think the car is.”

Grant grabbed the door frame and moved back to look at the car. “From what I can see, it doesn’t look too bad” he resumed his former position and moved his gaze back to hers, “you weren’t going fast, so it shouldn’t take too much to fix.”

“Any damage is too much” Stevie muttered, a frown coming down on her face. Then realising she’d said it out loud she added “but that’s my problem. Thanks for stopping and as she said it she looking for his car. She could see nothing ahead of her so looked over her shoulder. But it was too dark and wet to see much. He must have turned off his head lights she thought. “I’d better get going and you’re getting wet.”

He smiled “there comes a point when you can’t get any wetter. I’m Grant Rumor by the way” he said extending his hand.

Stevie took the hand he offered and shook it. “Stephanie Fielding” she said “Stevie.”

He smiled. “Nice name” he said.

She couldn’t help but smile back “thanks but I hate it.”

He laughed. “Which one, Stevie or Stephanie?”

“Both” she said “but of the two, I prefer Stevie.”

“Stevie it is then” he said. After a pause he asked “are you sure you’re okay to drive?” he asked.

Stevie nodded “yes I’m fine now and Mum knows what time I finish work and she’ll be waiting for me. She worries when it’s raining.”

“I can understand that. Where do you work?”

Going Home

Part 79

Looking at his grim expression Grace realised how much she had upset Josh and she was sorry, but she also felt it was important that they both knew where they were going so she continued. “Okay so how many do you want?”

Josh considered this for a minute “I’m not fussed but more than one, I don’t want to have an only child. How many do you want?”

“Oh” Grace said feeling uncertain as the question was thrown back at her, “I’d say definitely more than one but beyond that I’m not sure.”

“Right sounds like the same page to me. Next?” Josh asked in a tone that did not encourage argument.

Looking at him Grace was wary as she said, “well what about our relationship, where do you see that going?”

Josh looked into Grace’s eyes so she couldn’t doubt his sincerity. “I take it you’re referring to marriage, or whatever. Well as far as I’m concerned our relationship can go anyway we want it to go. If you want to get married then that’s fine with me, but if you don’t that’s fine too. The only thing I want for sure is to be in this relationship with you, whatever that may entail. Right your turn.”

Grace stared at him, shocked at how determined he was to come to an understanding. She was beginning to realise that even if he hadn’t spoken about it, he had obviously thought about their future. So attempting to lighten the mood a little she smiled, “okay Josh I’m convinced that’s all I want too.”

But Josh was not about to be diverted from his goal. He needed this sorted out once and for all so he pressed his advantage, “right so have we finished with this now?” his expression was stern. “Do you agree in regard to the important stuff we want the same things.”

The smile dropping from her face, Grace nodded, “yes I agree we want the same things.”

“Well the rest is just details, right?” Josh insisted.

Solemn, Grace agreed, “yes Josh the rest is just details.”

Then looking at his stern expression, Grace tried again to mollify him and smiled “Okay so now I know.”

But Josh didn’t smile. Instead lifting her onto his lap, he wraped his arms around her and held her tight. His voice a low rumble over her head, he said “don’t ever do that to me again, you scared the hell out of me.”

Loss and Longing

The car finally came to a stop facing the wrong way on the other side of the road up against the trunk of a huge gum tree. Stevie squealed as the door behind her took the brunt of the impact. She hadn’t hit it hard but she knew there would be damage. She also knew she couldn’t afford to have it fixed. She sighed and rested her forehead on her arms on the steering wheel as she waited for her heart rate to slow. 

But just as her heart was returning to its normal rhythm it nearly flew out of her chest as a knock sounded on the window next to her. Startled, Stevie’s head span around and she gazed at the face looking in at her. The man was bending down to look in the window and given the degree to which he had to bend, she knew he was tall. His hair looked dark, but it was hard to tell as it was so wet.  She couldn’t have said what colour his eyes were either in the low light. He looked to be about thirty and he was motioning for her to lower her window. Stevie, still feeling a bit rattled, did as he requested without thinking. All her mother’s warnings about not talking to strangers, particularly on a dark lonely road, went straight out the window.

“Are you alright?” the man asked in a deep voice laced with concern.

Stevie nodded, “yes” she said but as she did, reaction set in and she was horrified to feel tears form in her eyes. She bit her lip in an attempt to stop them but it didn’t work and she turned her head away. If he hadn’t turned up, she’d have been okay, but the concern in his voice was just too much. 

After a minute she got herself under control and lifted her hands intending to wipe her face. However she found her right hand was restricted and turning her head to look at it, she realised the man was holding it. She hadn’t even been aware of him taking it off the wheel, even though she noticed her own fingers were wrapped around his. Mortified, she glanced at his face. She noticed he had crouched down next to the car.

Going Home

Part 78

Put on the spot Grace wasn’t sure where to begin, she wanted answers but was only praying the answers she got were the ones she wanted. So taking a deep breath she made a hesitant start with territory they’d already covered. “Okay” she said “I know we’ve talked about kids before and you said you were willing to have them…”

But Josh interrupted with an emphatic “no.”

Shocked Grace looked at him for a minute. This was one question she thought she knew the answer to but it seemed not. Concerned now about what this meant for them she said “so you’re saying now you’re not willing to have kids?”

“No” Josh said, “not willing to, want to.”

“Oh” Grace said letting her breath out on a sigh. She smiled “you had me worried for a minute.”

But Josh didn’t smile. His expression was serious. During all the recent turmoil with his family his relationship with Grace was the one thing he could rely on and he needed that security, so he wasn’t going to stop until this was resolved. He said “well that makes two of us. Now what’s next?”

Loss and Longing

This is a longish story I started writing many years ago.

 

“Have a good weekend Stevie. I’ll see you on Monday” Rachel called before opening the back door of the shop and running for her car.  

“Bye Rachel” Stevie Fielding yelled back to one of her closest friends and her workmate as she hurried to lock the door and then run for her car through the wind and rain. It had been a horrible day weather wise, keeping the customers away, and it didn’t look like it would be improving any time soon. Slamming the driver’s door after clambering in, Stevie pushed her wavy brown hair off her face. Grabbing the hair tie she always wore on her wrist, Stevie pulled her wet hair up and tied it up in a pony tail. Then wiping her wet hands on her thighs she started the car. It was Friday night and her last day of work for the week. Stevie was glad to be finished but she was far from carefree. As ever there were too many worries at home to think about. Stevie glared out at the rain as she considered her mounting problems. 

The deserted road was very familiar to her but there were few street lights so it was always dark. She drove along it at least twice a day and on some days many more times. She knew it like the back of her hand. But she never liked driving along it in the rain. She couldn’t wait to get home and out of the weather but when she was only about a quarter of the way there, on rounding a bend, she was confronted by a dark form on the road in front of her. Her head lights picking it out in the dark, Stevie gasped and span the wheel to dodge it. But as soon as she did, it then took off across the road in front of her and she slammed on the breaks. But on the wet surface her car just skidded and Stevie could do nothing to control it. She hung on to the wheel, her knuckles turning white and as her car spun, she closed her eyes and waited for the impact she knew must come. The only positive thing was that there was no other traffic on the road.  She had lost sight of the animal in the confusion but she hadn’t felt an impact so hoped she hadn’t hit it. Everything seemed to move in slow motion.

Going Home

Part 77

Frowning Grace looked down at her hands, “I don’t know. It’s just that you dealing with your past has got me thinking about the future. We haven’t ever really discussed anything about us. I’d just like to know we’re heading in the same direction.”

Frowning himself now Josh tried to work out where this had come from. He thought everything between them was perfect but now he was worried that when he was dealing with his family issues, maybe he’d missed something. He couldn’t stand it if he lost Grace so doing his best to articulate his feelings Josh said “Grace I don’t know what’s going on here, but one thing I do know, one thing I am absolutely certain of, is that the only direction I’m headed, is to wherever you are going. You are my whole world, don’t ever doubt that. So if you want to discuss something tell me what it is and we’ll discuss it.”

Putting her hand gently on his face Grace said, “I do know all that honestly, it’s just that I want us to want the same things and I guess I’d like to know what that is for you.”

Determined to deal with this here and now and put it behind them, Josh looked at Grace and said “so ask me and I’ll tell you.”

Going Home

Part 76

Two days later Josh and Grace were watching tv after dinner when Josh’s phone rang. Grace, who was curled up next to him, sat up as Josh picked it up.

He looked at the caller id. and Josh had to stop his immediate negative reaction and remind himself of his visit to the farm. Then pushing the call button he said “hello.”

“Hello Josh, it’s mum.”

Still awkward about greeting his mother, Josh just said “hey.”

Grace could tell who it was from Josh’s demeanor and she watched him as she listened to his side of the conversation. She knew things had changed for Josh in regard to his parents, but she also realised Josh was still getting used to those changes.

Margaret was a little disappointed at her son’s impersonal greeting but trying not to let it worry her she got straight to the point of the call. “Josh your father and I are thinking of coming into town next weekend will you be working then?”

Silent for a minute Josh contemplated this then looking at Grace he said “no we finish Friday night next week.”

“Oh wonderful, did you have any plans?”

“No we don’t have any plans.” Josh said but he was a little wary as he wondered what his mother was about to suggest.

“Great well we’d like to spend some time with you and Grace.” Margaret said, her tone up beat.

“Sounds okay” Josh answered but without much enthusiasm. As much as he was happy with being reunited with his parents, all this family contact was new to him and he wasn’t sure how to handle it.

Margaret sensed his hesitation and she was worried. She didn’t want to push too hard too fast but she couldn’t back out either. So determining to take it slow when they saw him, to give him space, she got down to details, “that’s great Josh we’ll be in town on Friday then. I think we’ll stay at the same hotel I met you at last time.”

“Sounds good” he said.

“Okay then I’ll ring you when we arrive or is it easier if you could ring when you’ve finished work?”

“Probably easier if I ring you, work is unpredictable.” Josh said.

“Okay Josh well we’ll speak to you then. We’re looking forward to seeing you both again.”

“No worries” Josh said.

“Thank you Josh, Bye.”

“Bye.”

Grace studied Josh’s expression as he put the phone down. “So what’s going on?”

Josh looks at her, “they’re coming here, next week end.”

Smiling Grace said “that’s good.” Then looking at his worried expression she said “isn’t it?”

“I guess so.”

“But?”

“I don’t know it’s just I haven’t seen them in fourteen years now I’ll be seeing them twice in less than fourteen days. I’m not used to it I suppose.”

“Well it looks like you might have to get used to it” she said with a smile “I don’t think they intend to let you slip away again. Not that I can blame them of course, I know I certainly couldn’t let that happen.”

Smiling Josh pulled her into his arms, “well there’s not much chance of that where you’re concerned anyway. I have no intention of going anywhere.”

Looking serious all of a sudden Grace said “good to know.”

Raising an eyebrow quizzically at her expression Josh said “but you knew that right?”

“Yes, I guess I did but it’s nice to hear you say it.”

Worried Josh sat up. He asked “Grace what is this?”