Going Home

Part 132

Making sure they arrived early so they reached the restaurant first Josh was unable to sit still. He wanted the evening to go well for Grace’s sake. It was her birthday and he didn’t want anything to ruin it for her. But he was not used to having his family at these things.

Fortunately his parent’s were the first guests to arrive so Josh was able to say hello in private. He still felt a bit awkward about greeting them after he hadn’t seen them for a while so he didn’t need a mass of witnesses to contend with as well. But Josh’s relief was short lived as they only had time to exchange greetings and for Grace to open her gift before the Reid clan start to roll in. Taking a deep breath Josh braced himself to make the necessary introductions. Several minutes later he was relieved that the greetings were done and he could sit down and take a back seat to proceedings. This was Grace’s night and he was more than happy to be here for her but all this family stuff was really not his thing. Maybe he had been too long without it.

Despite Josh’s concerns the evening progressed smoothly and finally he managed to relax a little. He had watched his parents though out the meal and noticed the way they had talked to Grace’s family with ease. So after they had finished eating, content that all was well, Josh sat back with his arm around the back of Grace’s chair and ran his thumb idly over her bare shoulder as she talked to her brother across the table. His other hand on his beer Josh was absently contemplating her soft skin when all of a sudden he felt her stiffen. Wondering what had caused the reaction he frowned and followed the direction of her gaze. Seeing the person Grace had spotted coming towards them Josh stood up, his chair flying backwards in the process.

Idolatry

A few seconds later he lifted his head and she noticed for the first time how tired he looked, like he hadn’t slept for a week. She led him to the couch and they sat down together. Win reached out to touch his chest, her actions hesitant. She was having trouble believing he was real.

“Don’t Win” he said with a frown.

She didn’t understand what he meant. “Don’t touch you?” she said looking up and drawing her hand away.

“No” he said “don’t touch me like you did in the beginning, as if you’re afraid of me.”

She looked away. “I didn’t mean to. I guess I have to get used to having you around again.”

“When you do that it hurts. It hurts almost as much as not having you touch me at all for the last week” he said with a sad expression.

Win turned back and met his gaze. “I’m sorry” she said.

“We’ve been through this. I don’t want to be untouchable, not to you.  I don’t want you to feel inferior, or not enough. You are everything to me Win.”

“I don’t feel that way” she said “not anymore. It’s just a familiarity thing I promise. I just need to get used to things being back to normal. I thought I’d lost you you know?”

He nodded “I really am sorry for what she said.”

“I shouldn’t have believed it. I should have had more faith in you.”

He sighed and dropped his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. “Do you have any idea how horrible this week has been?”

“I’m sorry” she said.

“I’ve had no help at work and the whole time I was afraid that I’d never see you again.”

“I’m sorry” she said again. Then after a pause she asked “but how did you know I was home?”

“I’ve staked your place out before and after work every day. Some nights I slept in my car out the front, if you could call it sleep.”

“Oh Cole” Win said more sorry than she could say. “I don’t know how to apologise.”

He pulled her onto his lap “just tell me that this crazy idea of yours, that you aren’t up to the correct standard for me, whatever the hell that is, is forgotten. I love you just the way you are. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Win was crying again “it’s forgotten” she sobbed into his neck.

“Good” he said because “when you’re Mrs Winter Blake I want everyone to appreciate my wife for the wonderful woman she is, the same way that I do.”

Lifting her head to look at him and trying to get her emotions under control she said “Mrs Blake?”

“Yes” he said “and it’s not negotiable. I never want to go through this week again. I want us tied together in a way that you’ll never have to doubt me again.”

Tears began to flow again as Win hugged him. Then as her lips found his she knew that she would never again believe she wasn’t good enough. 

The End

Idolatry

Trying to find some evidence to back up the beliefs that had sent her out of town for a week Win said “if you weren’t attracted to her why did you need me to act as a buffer? Surely you’re capable of telling her no?”

Cole sighed. “You’re right I didn’t need you to help reject her.”

“So you were attracted to her?” she said.

“No” he said “I wanted to have dinner with you. She was just an excuse.”

Win’s eyes widened. “What?” she said.

“You weren’t the excuse” he said “she was.”

“No” she pleaded horrified.

“Yes” he said. “I had been wanting to take you out for almost two years. I didn’t know how you felt however and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by asking and may be lose you as an employee. When Merril insisted on dinner I’m afraid all I could think about was how I could use the situation to get what I wanted, you.”

“Oh my god” she said closing her eyes and moving away as it hit home the conclusions she had jumped to.

She had her back to him now and as his hands came down on her shoulders she began to cry.

“Why did you believe her?” he said in a hurt tone.

“Because she’s beautiful and so much better suited to you” she sobbed.

Cole turned her around “but I don’t love her Winter, I love you.’

Win was crying in earnest now, great racking sobs shook her. Cole wrapped his arms around her. “I didn’t know where you’d gone” he said into her hair, his large hand cupping the back of her head. “I was frantic.”

“I’m sorry” she said her arms holding him tight. “I love you too.”

Cole released his breath on a sigh. “Can you say that again?” he said.

“I love you Cole, so much.”

“I love you so much too” he said lifting her tear stained face and looking down at her with a crooked smile before kissing her.

Idolatry

Letting herself in Win looked around the apartment with dismay. It still hurt to see it, to remember time spent there with Cole. Holding back tears she began unpacking the car. It was as she pushed the second bag in through the front door that Win became aware that she was no long alone. Her head snapped around and seeing Cole standing behind her, her heart skipped a beat.

“Are you ready to talk now?” he said in an angry tone, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes boring into hers.

“Is there any point?” she said turning away from him, intent on closing the door before he could enter.

He was a step ahead of her however and brushing past her, he walked into her apartment. With a sigh Win closed the door and followed him into the living room.

“What was that crap you left on my desk all about?” he said.

“I thought it was pretty straightforward” she said in sharp tone beginning to feel angry herself now. How dare he stand there and yell at her when he was the one in the wrong. “I left your messages and my letter of resignation.”

“I know what it was Win, what I want to know is what you think happened to warrant it.”

“Do we have go into minute details?” she snapped.

“There are no details, because nothing happened between Merril and me except some business which I assume is what you’re implying.”

“Is that what you call it?” she snapped “business, conducted in the privacy of her apartment.”

“I never went near her apartment” he growled.

“That’s not what she said” Win said, her confidence was waning a little at his adamant denial but trying not to show it.

“I don’t give a shit what she said” he all but yelled “she lied. Who are you going to believe me or her? You know what she’s like.”

Win searched his eyes for a moment.  Had she got it all wrong and misjudged him?

Idolatry

At her apartment Win rushed to pack a couple of bags. The only delay was the tears that kept forming as memories of the two of them there hit her. Over and over again she would have to stop until she was able to see again.

Still, within fifteen minutes she was done and putting the luggage in the car Win set off on the hour long drive to the beach.

With each mile she could feel the tension dropping away and as the water came into view Win opened the windows and breathed in the cleansing sea air. Her only hope was that one day the pain she felt would be gone too.

For the next seven days Win walked along the beach, she watched movies, she read when she could focus and slept when her mind would let her. She didn’t see anyone she knew and she didn’t talk to anyone. Cole rang over and over again but she never answered or returned the calls and after a while she turned off her phone. The locksmith had called on the Monday and told her the locks were changed and the keys were at their office when she was ready to pick them up.

Win used the time to check the job ads online. She found a few to apply for but she felt no enthusiasm for any of the positions and she had had no replies by the time she left on the following friday afternoon. She had a little time though. Win had saved hard in the last couple of years, she could live off her savings if she had to. Not to mention she was due eight week holiday pay from Cole. Not wanting to be away from him even before they started seeing each other she hadn’t taken time off in the whole time she’d worked for him. Now she would be away from him forever.

Careful to return before the close of business on Friday afternoon so she could pick up her new keys Win drove to the locksmith and then made her way home.