Loss and Longing

The next morning Stevie couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

Watching her as they prepared to open the shop for the day Rachel said “okay give. Yesterday you were biting everyone’s head off and today you are floating on air. Has this got something to do with that guy who paid to fix your car?”

“No” Stevie said, she did not want to discuss Grant with anyone yet, but she couldn’t make her denial sound convincing.

“Yeah right” Rachel said with a smile. “Come on, I can tell by the look on your face that something’s happened.”

Stevie grinned.“Okay, something’s happened but I have no intention of telling you about it.”

Rachel laughed. “You just did. If it wasn’t big you’d have told me.”

Stevie laughed “well that’s all you’re getting.”

“For now” Rachel teased.

“Yes, for now” Stevie said “now get back to work.”

Rachel laughed and giving her a mock salute, moved off.

Even though they were busy, the day still dragged for Stevie. But at last it was time to close up. Saying goodbye to Rachel and dodging more of her questions, she drove home and picked up her younger brother Dean, to take him to his basketball training. Her mother worked longer hours than she did, so she often had to transport her younger brother and sister after she’d finished work.

She dropped Dean off at the local stadium before rushing back home to shower and change. Then picking him up again an hour later, she dropped him back at home. “Tell Mum I won’t be late” she said to her brother.

“Yeah okay” Dean said flicking his long hair out of his eyes. Then jumping out of the car he said, “see ya.”

“Bye” she said and headed to Grant’s place. But the closer she got to it, the more nervous she became. Her hands sweated and shook and she had to take deep breaths to try and calm herself. Ten minutes after leaving home, she pulled up next to his house. It was just before seven. She looked out through the windscreen at the building in the low light and could see lights on in some of the windows. She took a deep breath and got out of the car.

Learning To Trust Again

For the next few weeks Jake and Rebecca spent most of their free time together, getting to know each other. There was no pressure and Rebecca loved the uncomplicated nature of their relationship. It was easy. She was able to relax with Jake, to be herself. That was something she’d never felt with Mark. With him she always had to be what he wanted her to be. She felt tremendous pressure to perform, to live up to his expectations. Back then she believed he was a good influence. She told herself he was making her a better person by setting impossible standards for her to follow. But she was never able relax and just be Rebecca, not even when she wasn’t around him. All her spare time was taken up with working to fulfill his exacting requirements of appropriate appearance and behaviour.

However with Jake, there were no such expectations, only a quiet appreciation. While he didn’t always say things in words, he had a way of looking at her that let her know he liked what he saw. He never criticized her or put her down, he listened to her and was interested in what she had to say. It made her feel special and valued for being just the way she was. Jake too seemed to have changed. She noticed that he had lost the dark brooding mask he’d worn when she’d first met him. He smiled more and ever since that day he’d come back to apologise, he’d shown no hesitation or confusion with her. She now had no trouble reading his feelings in both his touch and his expressions.

 One Saturday night Jake took her to his local pub and taught her to play pool. To her surprise she found that even though she had never played the game before, by the end of the night she had got the hang of it. She could hit the white ball into one of the coloured ones and at least some of the time she could get it to go in the general direction she wanted it to go. Putting it in the pocket was of course another matter, but she did her best.

Of course Jake beat her in every game but she improved with each attempt and had fun learning. He was a quiet and patient teacher with a wicked sense of humour. He didn’t rub it in her face that he was better than she was and he encouraged her to keep trying. She enjoyed every minute of it and couldn’t wait to be able to do it again.

‘Thank you’ she said as they walked back to her apartment.

‘Sure’ he said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders ‘you did good.’

She smiled ‘I did okay’ she corrected ‘but thanks for not laughing at me.’

‘You weren’t that bad’ he said smiling ‘with a bit of practice, you could play really well.’

Rebecca smiled ‘I would like to play again sometime.’

‘You’re on’ he said ‘before you know it you’ll be beating me.’

‘I doubt that’ Rebecca said ‘but I did enjoy playing.’

‘Me too’ Jake said and leaning down he gave her a quick kiss before they continued on their way home.

Learning To Trust Again

‘So what’s with Bec?’ Jake asked with a raised eyebrow and a grin as he lay beside her in her bed a little later.

Blushing Rebecca replied with a shy smile ‘nothing really, it just sounded nice when you said it.’

‘Does anyone else call you Bec?’

‘Not really, my family and friends call me Becs or Becky.’

‘Yeah, I heard your brother call you Becs, it suits you. How about Becca? Do you get that?’ he asked as he laid a trail of teasing kisses along her jaw.

The smile slipping from her face, Rebecca turned away. Mark had called her that and even though she’d told him she didn’t like it, he still used it. Back then she told herself she didn’t mind, that it was his way of teasing her, but now she knew better. Now she knew he only did it to hurt her. He only ever did anything to hurt her. She didn’t let anyone use it anymore no matter who they were and if they continued after her asking them not to, she distanced herself straight away and then severed contact. Her tone hard, she said ‘no, I don’t like Becca. Please don’t call me that.’

Jake had already lifted his head when she had moved hers away and now she could feel him watching her, speculating no doubt on why she was so adamant. She held her breath. If he couldn’t meet such a simple request she was better off knowing it now. But moving his lips back to her skin, he said between kisses ‘okay, no problem. I like Bec better anyway.’

Relieved, Rebecca relaxed and smiled ‘so do I.’

Grinning, Jake lifted his head again and looking down at her teased ‘yeah, I got that.’

Blushing Rebecca laughed. Then moving her head, she found his mouth with hers taking the kissing way beyond teasing.

Going Home

Part 98

Later as Margaret and Robert called it a night Grace got up and walked over to Josh. He’d been quiet and she was worried about what that meant. So standing next to him she rubbed a loving hand over his head and said “you okay?”

Looking up at her Josh nodded and pulled her onto his lap. Then wrapping his arms around her he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yeah I’m good.”

“Sure? You haven’t said much.”

“Just thinking, but I’m fine.”

Smiling as she looked at him Grace said “good” and leant in and kissed him. It wasn’t a passionate kiss just a sweet comforting caress. She knew how hard this was for him and wanted to help.

As Grace lifted her head Josh looked at her. He realised he had never loved her more than he did right now. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he didn’t know what he’d do with out her. But just thinking about this was too much for him at the moment and needing to be close to her he leant forward and started the kissing this time. But this kiss was different from the one of a few moments ago and standing with Grace still in his arms, Josh headed to their bedroom, thankful that there was a bathroom between their room and his parent’s room so Grace wouldn’t have to be embarrassed in the morning.

Grace knew full well what Josh was thinking and as he carried her to their room she did her best not to think about his parents sleeping only meters away. However within minutes of the door closing behind them, Grace wasn’t thinking about anything but Josh.

Learning To Trust Again

Jake lowered her to the bed without breaking the kiss and lay half covering her as one of his hands began a thorough exploration of her body. They hadn’t paused to turn on a light so the only illumination in the room came from the one outside, in the entry. It only reached half way across the bed, but as Jake lifted his head and eased back and her eyes gradually adapted to the low light, it was more than enough for her to see him as he lay over her.

Rebecca could feel goose bumps popping out everywhere he touched and she was desperate to get rid of their clothing. She wanted to touch his skin and wanted to feel him touch her. Unable to lie still any longer, she shifted her weight and rolled from beneath him. She hoped he didn’t mind her taking the lead for a while. Pushing him onto his back, she crawled up the bed and sat astride his body. She looked down at him, her gaze intense as she slowly lifted her hands and pulled her top up and over her head. Her eyes still on his she dragged the garment off her arms and tossed it to the floor next to the bed.

Jake’s brought his hands up then and rested them on her hips but his eyes didn’t move from hers and she sighed as he rubbed his thumbs gently over her abdomen.

Rebecca started to tremble all over. 

The rest of this part will be posted in the usual place.