Learning To Trust Again

Rebecca could feel tears gathering not far below the surface. She blinked and was silent for a minute as she fought for control. Taking a deep breath she said ‘Todd don’t make me doubt myself please. I don’t need you playing the overprotective brother. I need to know I can trust my own judgment again.’

Todd sighed. After a moment’s silence he used a more even tone as he said ‘I can’t say I like the idea of him following you around, but as you don’t want my help I’ll have to trust your judgment.’

‘Thank you’ Rebecca said.

‘So are you seeing him again?’

‘Yes, tomorrow night’ she said but her voice was flat now. She felt deflated after Todd’s harsh words. The excitement at the prospect of seeing Jake again was gone. With a touch of petulance in her voice she added, ‘but it’s likely to be the last time so you don’t have to worry about him.’

‘Good, but it’s not him I’m worried about you know’ Todd said.

‘I know’ Rebecca said.

‘I don’t like that he knows where you live’ he added, apparently not willing to concede completely.

‘Well you’re just going to have to trust me and believe that I know what I’m doing won’t you?’

‘Yeah well if I wasn’t flying out tomorrow morning I’d come over and make sure about that.’

Rebecca let her breath out on a sigh. She was tired of arguing now. Trying to appease him and end the discussion, she said ‘look I’ll call you the day after tomorrow so you’ll know I’m alright, okay?’

‘I guess it will have to be’ Todd said, before ordering ‘just make sure you lock up well.’

‘Yes Todd’ she said with an indulgent smile in her voice at his last command. To Rebecca he sounded more like their father every day, not that Todd would appreciate hearing that. But ever since they had moved to the city he had taken on the role of father, mother and older brother all rolled into one. In fact if a stranger where to hear this conversation she was certain they would think Todd was the older sibling. And despite how frustrated he made her at times, she did appreciate the way he looked out for her, even if he did over do the protectiveness in her opinion.

Her anger gone, she said ‘have a good trip and I’ll talk to you on Friday.’

‘Okay Becs’ Todd replied using a lighter tone himself now ‘talk to you later and take care. Bye’

‘Bye Todd’

Loss and Longing

And as Stevie watched him she got the distinct impression he was lonely. She didn’t know why though. On the surface it seemed he had it all. He was gorgeous to look at. He was intelligent and caring. He didn’t have to stop the other night or squat in the rain while she cried her eyes out. He had a strong moral sense from the way he’d wanted to pay for the damage his dog had caused and he had excellent taste if his house was anything to go by. She had to assume from the finishes and the size of the property that he was well off too. So why would a man like that be alone?

“No friends?” she asked.

“Not many."

“Family?” she asked, curious to solve the puzzle.

“No” he said without elaborating and the tone of his voice told her not to push the issue.

She was sad for him. Even though she had more family than she could do with at times, she loved them and wouldn’t want to be without any close connections. She tried to think of something else to say to break the tension that had sprung up but before she could, there was a crash against the door situated not far from where she was sitting. She jumped.

Grant looked over his shoulder and smiled.

And Stevie knew she had conveyed her fright when he said “relax, it’s just Scout announcing his arrival.”

Side tracked by his house and the man himself, Stevie had completely forgotten, why she had agreed to come in, in the first place.

As Grant walked around the bench to the door, he said “and seeing he’s surprised you twice now, I think it’s time you two were introduced.” He opened the door and a large brindle boxer bounded in and stopping in front of her, stood looking at her, his head cocked to the side as if he was trying to work out who she was. Stevie, loved dogs and looking into Scout’s soft brown eyes she was captivated.

“Okay say hello and then on your mat” Grant said to Scout.

Scout sat, his rapidly wagging tail brushing against the floor as he panted his greeting.

Stevie got off her stool and squatting, she patted him. “He’s beautiful” she said with a smile.

Grant rubbed his dogs head on his way back around the bench and said “not when he’s been out digging in the rain.”

“Was he home when you got here the other night?” she asked standing again and watching Scout move off to lie on his bed just inside the back door as she resumed her seat.

“Yes” grant said “he was sitting at the back door looking ashamed of himself.  And so he should have after what he did, not to mention he was covered in mud.”

Stevie laughed and looking over her shoulder at Scout, she said “I’m glad I didn’t hit him.

“You and me both” Grant said.

Learning To Trust Again

‘Apart from getting attacked on my way home last night, not much’ she said, her tone still light and forgetting for the moment that she wasn’t going to tell him about it.

‘What? Are you serious?’

‘I’m afraid so’ she replied more seriously, cringing at his shocked tone.

‘Are you okay? Were you hurt?’ Todd asked, concern lacing his words.

Rebecca smiled as Jake’s face flashed through her mind and she answered her brother’s questions in order, ‘yes I’m okay and no I wasn’t hurt. Luckily an off duty police officer was passing and rescued me.’

‘Seriously?’ Todd asked his disbelief obvious.

‘Yep and after he scared off the bad guys, he walked me home.’

‘What?’ Todd yelled seemingly more amazed by this statement than her one about the attack itself. ‘Are you crazy?’ he ranted ‘you let some guy you’ve never met before walk you home? He could have just been saving you so he could do something worse to you himself. What were you thinking? How do you even know he’s a cop?’

‘Todd’ Rebecca said, angry too now. She was unhappy with his criticism. ‘Give me some credit. He showed me his ID, he also called in the attack and had some officers come down and arrest the guys who were responsible, not to mention he isn’t like that. He even came back tonight to escort me home when he realised I was going to be walking again.’

‘Okay stop Bec’ Todd said in a tone that was a mixture of exasperation and anger ‘you are doing my head in. Firstly what were you doing walking again after what happened and for Christ sake, are you telling me this guy is now stalking you? What have you got yourself into?’

Sighing at his implication that she was taking a risk Rebecca said in a firm voice ‘Todd, stop yelling and listen. I had my reasons for walking. I did not want what happened, to rule my life. I don’t want to live in fear. As for Jake, he is not a stalker’ but as she said this her own words to Jake earlier about stalking played through her mind and unnerved her a bit. She didn’t want Todd to be right. To reassure herself as much as her brother she added, ‘he just wanted to make sure I got home okay. It was nice of him really.’

‘And I suppose he’s hot too which is why you aren’t seeing straight?’ Todd asked with scorn dripping from his voice.

‘That’s enough Todd’ Rebecca all but yelled at him ‘I am a big girl and might I point out five years older than you. I am perfectly capable of looking after myself and deciding about people’s character.’

‘You sure about that?’ Todd said in a harsh tone.

It was a low blow and Rebecca gasped on hearing it. But she did not believe her brother was being deliberately cruel. He had never been cruel to her. She knew how much he hated what Mark had done to her. He had been there for her every step of the way as she worked to put her life back together, even to the point of moving away from their home, when she could no longer live there. She’d needed a fresh start and he hadn’t hesitated about coming with her. She knew he was trying to make sure she wasn’t going to make the same mistake. But knowing that didn’t stop it from hurting.

Learning To Trust Again

Rebecca watched him go and was still standing outside her door, long after he had moved out of sight. She was unsure what to make of him. He was such an enigma and she didn’t understand his motivations. While he was willing to put himself out for her, it seemed like it was more of an obligation than a preference. So why was he doing it? She was a stranger, there was no reason he should feel obligated to look after her. Maybe he just had an overdeveloped sense of duty, and having saved her once, felt it was his responsibility to keep her safe. That seemed to be what he was intimating earlier. She shrugged and moved inside. She was no nearer to an explanation than she was when she started. But as she closed the door, she decided it didn’t really matter why he was doing it, regardless of the reason, she couldn’t help but look forward to finishing her shift tomorrow. She smiled as she thought about it, but then immediately yawned. She was ready for bed. Even after the excitement of seeing Jake again, she doubted she’d be awake long that night. The disturbed sleep the night before and a busy shift had left her energy reserves depleted to the point of exhaustion.

But as she locked the door, making sure it was secure, her home phone started to ring. Startled she spun around and stepping into the living room she stood and looked at it for a minute. She feared that for someone to be ringing her that late, it must be bad news. Holding her breath she walked over with slow measured steps and picked it up. Her voice anxious, she said ‘hello?’

‘Becs’ a familiar voice answered in an upbeat tone ‘you just getting home?’

Rebecca sighed and smiled, she was relieved it was only her little brother Todd and that he sounded happy. Dropping her bag on the coffee table and kicking off her shoes, she curled up on the couch ready to see what news he had. They shared a close relationship and so despite her tiredness she was happy to chat with him and catch up on what he had been up to. They were in touch on a regular basis but she hadn’t spoken to him now for a few days. Her tone lighter, she said ‘hey Todd, yep I just walked in the door.’

‘Sorry to ring so late, but I tried earlier and gathered you must be working a late shift. If I didn’t catch you tonight it would be a couple of days before we spoke, I’m off interstate tomorrow for work. So what’s happening with you? What have you been up to?’ he asked.

Going Home

Part 90

After lunch Grace and Josh strolled along the river with Margaret and Robert. As they made their way towards the Aquarium Grace and Margaret chatted easily together and slightly behind them Robert walked with Josh. Following a few minutes of silence Robert turned to Josh and asked “What are you and Grace up to this evening?”

Frowning, feeling wary, not sure what’s coming, Josh said “we haven’t got anything planned, why?”

Looking a little awkward Robert said “Um..if it’s alright could we come around later I’ve got something to give you.”

Still frowning Josh shrugged “I guess so but can’t you just give me what ever it is now?”

Robert looked down at his feet “no I think later would be best.”

Josh shrugged again “okay just come over whenever you’re ready.”

Smiling Robert looked at his son “thanks Josh, we’ll do that. Now where are we headed?”

Pointing to the building up a head Josh said “Grace said something about the Aquarium. I think Mum wants to have a look.”

“Ah okay” Robert nodded in acknowledgement. “Personally though, I’d prefer to view fish dangling on the end of a line rather than swimming past some glass.”

Looking quickly over at his father Josh wondered if Grace had said something. She said she wouldn’t but this just seemed too much of a coincidence following their last conversation. However watching his father it seemed to Josh that Robert wasn’t trying to make a point. He wasn’t even looking at him but was watching the passing boats on the river. Deciding to ask Grace later Josh said after a minute “I know what you mean.” Then pausing he added “I haven’t been fishing for years.”

Looking over at Josh’s sad expression Robert knew he meant since Gavin died and his own tone solemn he said “neither have I.”